I heard from the principal in St. Petersburg. He has already hired two teachers for the positions that were available. He wished me well.
For some reason, this made me cry just a bit. My dream to go back to Russia has always been based on getting a legitimate job. After researching the internet for 2 years, I only felt confident in AAS.
My intention was purely selfish and selfless. I wanted my girls to know that their mommy loves their home country enough to give them just a bit more time there. Time with a family and time where they were loved.
Now that this is really over, I am so let down. Somehow I feel unrealisticly rejected. The selfish part of me wanted to get away from students whose parents don't seem to care, get away from a job with no raise or step increase. The selfish part of me wanted to hear the language and remember the culture. To hear the sound the snow makes when its stepped on for the 1000th time.
God closes doors for a reason. I get it. But today, I realize that I wanted That door to be open.
I will have to do some serious praying tonight. Tonight, I don't want to look for the window,
tonight I am gonna shed "a few tears for what could been..."