Sometimes you can feel a shift. Actually feel the earth slowly, ever so slowly moving under your feet, and you know that no matter how hard you try to stand firm, you just can't. I am feeling that shift. The shift comes after many many doors have closed on my plans. Doors I had only considered opening, have slammed in front of me. There have been no open windows. Not only are there no open windows, the light from what windows I do have is dimming to a level that is nearly unmanageable. As hard as I have fought to see any light source, I see the shade of everything.
I am so overcome with the reality of what is now, that I cannot imagine what foot to put foreward and what foot should collapse under me, taking my whole self down with it..I cannot hope for what I thought I could hope for. I cannot dream of what I thought I should dream of. So for now, I do what everyone who is lost does. I turn back to the One who has brought me so much joy. The One who made me a mother. And as hard as life seems lately, I have to face that once again, I don't have to know what the future holds, I just have to trust that He will give me the light I need. He will give me the door and windows that need to be opened.. I am going to break away from this whole blog thing for a while.