Sunday, November 22, 2009

A Terrible Day

I had so many things I wanted to do on Saturday. But none of it happened.
Anna had a meltdown that I couldn't understand, and it was epic.
I share all of our good times here, so I might as well share the awful days too. And it was awful.
It started when she woke up, and carried all the way through the night.

AugustRose has been sleeping with me lately. She comes to me and says she wants me to snuggle, and I ask her why, and she says, "because I love you." This is big, So we snuggle, and she wants me to tickle and scratch her back, and love on her. This is how it was with Anna until the night before she started kindergarten. I tell Anna that I did this with her so it is important that AugustRose needs that time too. It has been fine, but on the weekends, Anna will come in with me and want to snuggle too. And this makes AugustRose very jealous. The argue and fuss about Who Gets In The Middle... So that argument started, and I got irritated with it, and then to diffuse the situation, I encouraged the girls to take a morning tubbie.
All seemed a bit better and then an argument between the girls happened and I said those magic mother words, "If you don't stop arguing, I am coming in there and taking you out." At that point Auggie said I want to get out. I normally get their clothes ready and take them to the bathroom and hand them a towel, and they take cared of drying themselves off and getting dressed..Auggie needs some help, but she likes to do it on her own. Anyway, yesterday I wasn't ready with the clothes, so I went in, bundled her up in a towel, and took her to her room to dress. And Anna got very sad that I don't pick her up and take her to her room to dress..
We got through that, but it was only after lots of crying and explaining.
Then we go to Ikea to look for dining room chairs. And when I tell you Anna lost her mind, she LOST HER MIND. Why?
Because I used the cart she was playing on to load some heavy shelves. And she began crying, and wouldn't stop. Then she began demanding:

and all of this while crying, screaming, kicking, and generally losing her mind in the car. I was so upset. We came home and I put her in her room and she went to sleep for the day. She got up and I told her we were going to talk about her behavior. She asked me when, and I told her after I had a chance to think about it...
And I have thought about it, and feel very uneasy about the whole day. It was so upsetting for me, that I too slept in the afternoon. I woke up feeling drained and tired.
Today I am going to Church and praying for some clarity on this. It was much more awful than I can explain.
I am sure this has happened to some of you, so I know I am not alone. It is just very unsettling.


Tina in CT said...

Talk to my daughter about sisterly sibbling rivalry and meltdowns. You are not alone.

Annie said...

It certainly has happened to me. In fact, with Anastasia frequent and major meltdowns were part of the package for a long time.

Now, they occur less regularly, but are still unpleasant. A time or two we had to literally hold her down so she didn't hurt someone.

A little by-word that helps me sometimes is to remember that all behavior stems from either love or fear. So, what is she afraid of? When I ask myself that regarding Anastasia, it can provide me with some good insights....which I try to share with her, as much as possible at a later time. That has helped.

Also, with my bio kids (whose behavior could also occasionally go south) I found that a "no treat week" was helpful. No treats, no playdates, no outings, no video-rentals, no computer time, etc. But MORE attention, routine, mommy-time (reading books, playing games), and calm.

Could the move finally be getting to her? Could the sale of your old place be upsetting her on some level? Or all the change? (As symbolized by the IKEA purchases?)

Jojo, Julz, Julianne said...

I have Anna here alone. AgustRose wanted to stay at my mom's house saying, "Anna is too noisy." So Anna is in her room after a trip to the grocery store..I didn't let her have treats, but she got to help me pick out our basics.
I am still worn out from yesterday.Anna was crying when I went to pick her up from Sunday school. I think my gal is unsteady right now. Annie, I think you are right, she does not handle life changes well..Bless her heart, she is so rotten..

Annie said...

Good luck; I'll say a prayer for you. No fun at all. But, I bet that alone time with you will help.

Tina in CT said...

We moved from our first house to another house in town (which I still live in) when Tami was a little over 5. The move was all of a mile or maybe 2 and it did upset her little world. Her neighborhood friends were not outside her door any longer. She still had a nice yard and there were little girls her age in the neighborhood but it wasn't what she had had day-to-day. In a very short time, though, she was very happy in her new house. It was home.

Jen Stevens said...

I've been there. In fact I'm there now. It's draining on our girls, but it is draining on the mama's too.
Change is a big issue here too, as is jealousy.
The single thing that has helped the jealousy (helped not eliminated), has been to in the same moment that I give individual attention to 1 child, to let A know THEN what individual attention she will have later. It takes some fore thought, but she then has something to look forward to while I am busy tending to someone else's needs. It often only has to be a few moments, of even helping me unload the dishwasher, but she gets to be alone and have me to herself and she still needs that.

The Hughes Gang said...

My kids never act this way. LOL!! I love you girl. They are totally doing what you and Lauralee did to your Mama.
I guess this would explain why we didn't see you this weekend? Come anytime. We miss you tons!

Tina in CT said...

You haven't given us an update on your back. Hope it is greatly improved.