Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thankful, But

First, I want to share that I realize when you say "BUT" it negates everything prior, but I don't want it to come across that way.
The settlement for my condo has been set 3 times thus far. I have taken off two separate half days thinking it was going to happen, only to find out hours before that it wasn't going to occur. I have been to the settlement office, signed my name, left the keys, and filled out the wire transfer information for the funds to be placed into my account. But as of this very Thanksgiving Day, nothing has happened. It has gotten so ugly, that my real estate agent doesn't want to say or ask anything in fear that some hot head may back out. And in this transaction, there are many hot heads, me included.
The problem could be blamed on all of us really. The original closing was set up for last Friday. The buyer's lender wasn't ready with his paperwork and although my agent called several times, he assured us it would be ready. Funny, the appraiser only showed up days before settlement. Anyway, that day was scrapped, without a walk through. The buyer decided not to do it, since he didn't want to face traffic to the burbs if we weren't going to the table. The day after our first settlement he did the walk through and found that we hadn't fixed a window that he wanted repaired. I never knew of this, and my agent didn't realize it was in the contract. (neither did the buyers agent) So we agreed to throw money at the problem and get a glass company to come over, write an estimate, and have a check ready for him at our second settlement day which was on the following Monday. With lots of back and forth about this window, and my agent running around and faxing estimates, copies of the check, and contacting the settlement company, we finally arrived at "the table."
But the buyer didn't.
We called his agent and it got ugly fast. She was convinced that it was our error, and she didn't know if her client was okay with everything surrounded the window. People, a window. At this point we had offered about 2 hunj to get the window fixed, and we all know that a new window would cost what? 3hunj??
So I left the table, with nothing...
The settlement was supposed to happen on Tuesday..But once again, his lender couldn't get it done that fast. The lender's documents must be date stamped for the day OF settlement, not the day before or after...It wasn't until mid-morning did I know it wasn't going. And I was devastated. Actually, I cried.
This is the money I need to catch up from the move, and I am in the hole right now. I needed to get this into my account..You know the story, we all can tell how our finances aren't as pretty as they could be..
So now, it should happen on Monday. Fingers crossed. But,
that is only the beginning of the back story to the BUT..There is more.
Normally, I am in Manhattan for the Thanksgiving Holiday. I started going to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade when I was married. My X had an auto repair shop, and only had the actual day off, so we would leave on the night before, drive up, find a parking spot on the parade route, and sleep in his truck. We had the whole thing set up really well, with blankets to cover the front, snacks, and all the necessities. I can remember one year, we were sleeping in the truck and we heard a group of people, and then one of these thugs tried the door handle, then we opened the "curtain" and he had a tool out to break in...When he saw that we were in the car, there was lots of "Ohhh man, I'm sorry, wrong car." Yeah right..
We would sit on the roof of his car, watch the parade, then eat in Little Italy, and then do a quick tour, then drive back home.
When I started with my girls, we clearly did it the right way. Train or bus to the city and then 3 nights, 4 days in a Hilton...All paid for with my dad's miles.
Well, dad retired, so there are not enough miles to cover the whole trip and when I tried to find out how much it would cost, it was over 4 hunj per night, and I just can't do it..But,
So my heart is a little sad today because,
I am also awkwardly emotionally about this being the day that I got custody of AugustRose. I had expected to be in Russia for a month, and planned it in my mind that way, so when the judge waived my ten days, I was somewhat sad. I can't tell you how much I love a Russian Winter, so knowing I wouldn't see much of it was a let down. For me, that time in Russia is the time to bond without having to share your new baby with family and friends. Some tell you to keep their world small, but honey, my family is from the South, and they will tell you
" kiss my grits and lemme give that baby some sugar." There is no small. It's granny and dadoo, and auntie and of course, Martha Stewart isn't letting you come home without a sign welcoming you to America.
So our time in Novosibirsk was
Pick up AugustRose, pick up adoption decree.(Which took a call to Moscow since her name was too long to fit, so we have a HANDWRITTEN adoption decree)
Call the lady from the birth certificate office at her home, have her come open the office and prepare birth certificate. Yes, my coordinator had serious pull..
Go to Aeroflot and change our tickets to Moscow, not all the way home, the international change would have to happen in Moscow.
The next day, we would pick up the passport in the morning and have the rest of that day to enjoy the town. Yes, a half day of to see the town, in a blizzard, with a backache. The next morning we flew to Moscow and met my sister. We dropped our document off at the embassy on the way to our apartment. The next morning, the doctor came to our apartment, and that afternoon, we were at the embassy. We came home the next morning. The whole trip was 11 days total. And for some reason, that makes me sad. But,
I know that some of you are in the "waiting" stage, with nothing to envision, nothing to hold, nothing to plan for, and my advice to you is to hold on, and don't feel overwhelmed if your ten days doesn't get waived. Some of my friends are a bit overwhelmed by being home and dealing with their kiddos. Some of my friends are sad, as this is one more holiday without a parent who may have passed away. Some of my parents are alone. So truly,
Lee, Jetson and Al and J, you are my family and I adore you. If I had my way, we would see each other everyday! Lee, I know you are hurting and missing your mom. I can only say, I love you and pray that your heart finds strength.
Jen S, Hillary, My Expat Friends and their mommas, (Tina)my school mates who fill my heart with comfort. (Staci,Heather and Margaret I love you 3)
Stacey, my waiting blogger friend, my heart is right there with you, Bernadette and her kiddos, Jenny and her family, Stephanie and the SHHHHHleyers,
and my favorite real estate agent Tina, I love you all to bits, you have special places in my heart and I am with you in spirit. With you. And Martha, my dear Martha, I love you. I don't ever tell you, but I do. Your kids are my babies, and Dave, well,he has to realize I am his other wife. He might not like it, but he has to accept it. Tell him to watch BigLove, I am the sisterwife!
To my momma and daddy, and my sister, you know how much I love you. I can never never, never, ever, thank you enough for how supportive and wonderful you make my life. I can never thank you 3 for giving my girls the love you give. I am truly a blessed girl..The Lord has blessed me, and for this


Annie said...

Our ten days were always waived, but that meant nothing to me! No way I'd leave Russia before two full weeks were up!

I understand your regret, though. I feel something like that about Ilya's arrival and my stupid application of myself to my stupid job instead of HIM. He needed me and I let him down. I'll never forgive myself for that.

However, neither of us can go back. Now, you could take your girls and spend two weeks in Russia! Go while they're cheap!

I can't think of a thing I could do to help Ilya. I've missed my chance.

Melissa said...

I just love you so much. I just wish you'd stop calling me Martha. Couldn't you hvae picked a better name for you sisterwife! LOL!
Next Thanksgving will be better. I promise. Come see us. Dave has the parts and you won't need to spend money.