Thursday, December 31, 2009

a Future StoryBoard

In the spirit of the traditional New Year's resolutions, I will share some tidbits about my life. Some things I will make an earnest effort to stop doing, some I promise to never stop. I am also throwing in some general observations and personal moments of clarity straight from the heart.
Smoking will be dealt with this year. I will continue to pray and plan, and plot and scheme for a doable way to quit this awful habit. I don't want to, but I want to.
I will not research any jobs in Russia for the next year. It's not doable right now. I don't want to give up my parents and sister, my work friends, my Church friends and mostly, I don't want to live without having fun with my "sistah from anotha mutha," Missi. I have a big ole new home and lots of support in my life. I won't trade that.
I am going to make an effort to open up my life to others. I keep a very small world for myself. I would like to open it up a bit. Maybe try to date, or meet someone who can share the grown up parts of me.
I am going to forgive my school district for not giving me a raise.
I am going to select a musical direction for my girlz. Piano? Violin? Guitar? Not sure which yet, but in the Spring, something will be decided.
I won't go back onto FRUA. I am glad I left it. I logged off several months ago, and haven't been back since. I got tired of reading parents blame their children's teachers for every ounce of misery in their lives. It was a joke. And honestly, a lot of folks over there seem to have a case of Munchhausen's by proxy. And if they weren't complaining about schools or how their child has this and that orphanage related malady, even though said child was adopted at less than a year old, then families were being flamed for not accepting a child who may have true disabilities. And then there were the questions. Really? Are you seriously asking what is the amount of time a child has to be on the data bank? Are you really asking if a your agency can tell you not to bring your older child overseas when you travel? Are you seriously going to ask about the 8 doctor medical, again? So, with nothing to gain but a clear head, I walked away from Frua..
I will continue to visit with old friends and new on Facebook. I Love It!!
I will find some new blogs to link to. I have found a couple of style and fashion blogs that for some reason, I keep going back to. It's not that I am tiring of any of my Russian adoption blogs, but I like feedback, and expanding who I follow might expand the entrees I make..I know people read this blog, but feedback matters and I haven't been getting it much. New ideas may bring new readers.
Somehow I will lose some weight this year. I have gained 50 pounds since Anna came home, and my body is hurting. I think it is a big reason my back can't really heal..I don't know how I will start to lose this weight, and I won't promise it all will come off this year, but some will start to come off.
I am going to do more praying about NewHope. Once again, I am feeling really disconnected from my small group and my friends there, and it aches my heart. I have some soul searching to do..
My kitchen will be remodeled this year. I want to go with an eclectic clean look. Nothing too fancy, but user friendly. I will also figure out a direction for my living room that is still empty. I am not sure I can afford to furnish it yet, but at least I will have an idea on how I will start.
Like like last summer, I will spend the whole time with my girlz. I should probably try to get a second job for the 2.5 months, but no way. I am spending the whole time relaxing. I hope to take the girlz to Disney World again, stay at my dads for month or so, and also spend some time in the Keys. We went last year for a few days and we really liked the laid back attitude. Missi's family and mine are hoping to rent a house down there. I am hoping that my sister and Marielle will come down for a few days, and of course, I gotta get my dear friend Lee and her family down there.
I have one secret dream that I want to pursue this year. I have told a million stories, and every time I do, someone in the group will inevitably say, "You should write a book." On this blog I try to be factual..I try to be honest and not so silly. But in real life, I am a silly, scary, hot mess and it may possibly make for good reading. There is a somewhat tragic "pre-story" to how I became a single mom of two Russian born daughters. A pretty sad story about how I failed myself, how others failed me, and how my body failed itself. The message of it the story is not one of hope, but one of persistence. The feeling of hope fades, but persistence is something that even a Christian Girl who smokes can practice..I don't pretend to think this book would ever be published. I just want to finish something that I have tried to start for 6 years...It only matters to me..
I am going to figure out if I think a tatoo on a 41 year old teacher is the ultimate in white trash or super fashionable. Yes, I want one on each inner wrist, reading up and down, with the words
"Комсомольский" on one wrist, and "Новосибирске" on the other..
The part of me that is organized and visual needs to map out my next year...

Happy New Year Blogger Folks...Hope you find and keep the dreams of your heart!

6 comments:

Jen Stevens said...

You've got an ambitious year this year, and I love it! You're gonna kick 2010's butt!

Tina in CT said...

Just got home from Moscow. I'll comment over the weekend and update my blog.

Happy New Year!

Jim said...

Happy New Year, Julianne!

I'm glad you are blogging. It's good to keep up with you here now that you are no longer on FRUA chat. The chat board serves a purpose for those who are working through an adoption or newly home, but now that you are beyond that stage, it makes sense to move on.

Best wishes to you and your family in the new year!

Hevel said...

I think the tattoos are not white trash, especially if they are in an area where it is easily covered up if needed.

Also I am glad you are blogging. I've been reading for a while, and now as it's the Tea Party month, I'll try to comment a lot more!

Anne said...

Julianne,

I enjoy reading your blog posts and seeing your "girlies" grow. They are so precious! My daughter is from Khab and will turn 10 this month. Seems like yesterday she was turning 2!

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year's! Best of luck on 2010. Don't stop blogging, I love staying in touch this way and on FB.

HS