Thursday, January 21, 2010

a quick update...

Out of fairness I should share that I am using two different strategies right now.....Both working well. But wouldn't you know it, the girlz have been "in love" with each other since the morning after I begged for help. Instead of using the advice on tattling or arguing, I have been using it for "tone control." Like for instance, I call the girlz from the top floor and they are in the middle child answers with a sassy, "maam???" Sounds nice, but it's all in the tone... (Btw, we say "Yes Maam" & "No Maam" in our house. I am southern, and along with double names and thank you cards, it's a requirement.) So I remind the girlz that we don't need to be sassy our words or with the way we say our words. For the most part, they have been great with just a reminder. But there have been a couple of times, and I mean a couple of times where I had to remind them of their manners.
I introduced the whole "new rule" of no tattling or yelling at each other at a very formal sit-down family meeting. I explained that i couldn't/wouldn't tolerate their bickering and tattling. I should add, that it is Anna who really needs this, because the little one follows her sister like a shadow. So if I get Anna to manage her attitude, then AugustRose will also.
I have also added some prayer into this. I asked God to help me be more patient and not internally lose my mind every time I hear, "MOoooommmmmmmmmyyyyy, she's copying me!"
So I am in a bind here, since I am taking two strategies and mixing them to fit into a 6 year old's ability to manage her own behavior and a 3 year old's ability to manage her own temper...
So now, I have one necklace, and two great ideas...Hmmmm.
And just so you know, I have read and loved every comment and idea. You are all so wonderful to offer advice to me. I believe we can always learn, and what a better group to learn from.
And Annie, some how, dealing with my own children is very different from my students. You are right, the love seems to get in the way!
So thank you to my dear blogger friends. We are making some progress!


Annie said...

Copying???? Hm.... I heard Anastasia's very tone as I read that. Zhenya has realized that "copying" is the most irritating thing he can do to her. Aidan was so sensitive to Lydia copying him, that if we were out to dinner and he ordered a cheeseburger and fries and she did too, he'd go ballistic. That I never could figure out....I once ordered the same thing as the both of them just to see if I could drive him over the edge. (It is OK; he grew up to be least so far!)

Tina in CT said...

My granddaughters want to do their own "thing" too.