Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Music from Dr. Kusic

Now let the party begin. Let's have cake. Blow up some balloons, hang a banner. My visit was my GYN was wonderful. The fact that he has followed a large part of my care over the past 7 years, eases the irritation of not having a primary care physician. My appointment today was very thorough. We talked at length about my "episodes" and he felt comfortable asking me to not address this with a psychiatrist until after.....Wait for it, my hysterectomy. Yes. We have spoken about this several times in the past, but each of his alternative plans has worked for a while. Now that we are out of options, he feels confidant that with appropriate monitoring after my surgery, we can get the episodes under control with hormone replacement therapy or an antidepressant that works on anxiety. I already take Effexor, but he can toodle around with the dosage and maybe add something so that I don't have to wonder when I will fall apart.

I will have a complete hysterectomy ( removal of uterus, tubes, and ovaries)that will be done laparoscopically. I have a tiny uterus which means the likelihood that they will encounter problems is very low. There will be an overnight stay, and 2 days complete bed rest at home after. I will also stay home from work for two weeks. When I had my laparoscopic surgery several years ago during my infertility treatments, I was fine in several days. So I am hoping and praying all goes well. My biggest is concern is for my girlz. As I have said a million times, Anna empathises like an old soul and seeing her momma in a hospital will be troubling for her. I may just not let her come. August is starting to worry if "momma" hurts herself, so she may not make it either. .They are only 6 and 4 and if I say momma needs to go get her tummy fixed and have my sister and mother stay with them to keep them busy, I think it will be fine.

I know some people may feel a sense of loss when facing this decision. Not this girl. The whole area is dysfunctional at best, a pain in my ass at its worst. So for me, this will make my whole self feel free from a life of focusing on that special time of the month. Funny, I never felt like I failed by not being able to have children. I equate keeping my innards to keeping a tumor. Really, what's the point of it if it only works to cause aggravation.
I am hoping that the surgery can be schedule for the last week in March, since the next week is my spring break. That would give me 3 long weeks to recover. I just can't believe this dream if finally going to happen. I know we will have to work out what I do for replacement hormones, but my doctor feels confident that due to my age, (41) we can get through it with mild medications if any. He wants me to consider quitting smoking while I do this so that I can exercise. He says many of his new moms, and post op patients find walking and yoga good for actually giving energy. We'll see about that!

So today is a good day. Missi, I want you to make me a cake just like the one above! And I want flowers. And a back rub.
Lee, I hate to say it..It's your turn to get to the doctor!


Tina in CT said...

Very good frame of mind and attitude. What do you need all the plumbing for? One thing with their being gone is that you won't ever have to worry about cancer striking.

Wise decision to just have your mom and sister come stay with the girls, not have them visit in the hospital as it's only for one night and they don't need the stress and hopefully you can get it scheduled so you'll have the third week off too.

Can your GYN recommend a good PCP for you as you really need one of those too?

Annie said...

One of my dear friends thought this surgery was the best thing she ever did - and she popped back....well, it seemed instantly! Another was shocked at how really miserable she felt physically...and she was laid up for a loooooong time. So I'm hoping you have friend # 1's experience! Read up on those hormones, though. That part worries me.

Best part of this post is that you feel good.

One thing I love about you is that you love your girls (clearly) as dearly as if they were yours biologically. Since I feel as powerfully about my adopted ones as I do about my bio ones...I can really relate to this. If I had it to do over I'd have more kids - but via adoption, for sure.

Melissa or Missi said...


Anonymous said...

I am with you too! Helping pray that all falls in place for this relief for you.

I suggest that the girls not go to the hospital - they do not need to be exposed to the emotions and fears of mom not well plus those hospital germs.

Love you much ~

Jen Stevens said...

I have debated having my innerds yanked too, but all my Dr's say I am too young, bah - what are they thinking?
I'm telling you they are just a waste of space! I hope this is a fabulous thing for you.

kate said...

All caught up now. I hope this goes smoothly--and happens right before your break! Who knew this could be the cause of your "episodes"?