AugustRose sleeps with me every night. Anna did it til THE night before kindergarten, so for us, it's the way we grow up. When we are in the bed, AugustRose plays with my hair, rolls it in crayons, brushes it with doll brushes, which hurts like crazy, and uses any sort of toy as a kind of roller..Somehow it relaxes me. I say things like, "stop banging my head with the fingernail polish." "Ouuuuccch, don't draw on my head!" But most of the time she is gentle.
Both of my girlz have tickle my eyelashes. With their tiny little digits, they stroke the top of my eyes as I fall asleep. They fall asleep too.
AugustRose doesn't make a proper pucker face. When she kisses, she pokes her bottom lip out...And hummms as if asking for a kiss with no words.
Anna, loves her own bed. She doesn't want to sleep with her sister anymore. The baby wiggles too much.
My children fill my bucket like no one else ever could. Ever. We spend our Saturdays alone most of the time. Just us. Doing nothing really. They play in my room, their rooms, the bathroom. I listen. We nap and usually do take out to eat. They don't call it lazy Saturday for nothing.
I am realizing as time goes on, that I cannot stay at my job for 8 more years after this one. * 8 more years is the magic number of years required to be fully vested in our retirement program. It's time to make a change, or take a time out. I have two teammates, and one is preggars. The other one is trying. I hope one of them makes the decision to leave first. I love them so much and I can't be the first one to say goodbye, even if it was to a job just down the road. My assistant is leaving next year. I don't know how I will work without her. She takes care of all forms, money, and notes. I am terrible at that. To clarify, I am great with Parent communication, but peer to peer communication, especially when I resent it, is my weak spot. I am leaning towards using my surgery as the excuse for everything I do in error for the rest of the year. I dread next year already. Not a good sign. So I am going to live it up this summer. It always refreshes me.
This isn't about wanting to go to Russia. It's more about feeling the winds of change coming at my school. I have outlasted 2 other principals, and 1 other assistant principal. But, I don't have it in me to fight the good fight anymore. I just want to teach and go home. All the other bull that comes along with teaching, can really kill the joy.
I am in a great place though. I am so confident that good things are coming our way. I can feel it..
I should play the lottery. I did a few months ago, and I am still mad that I wasted that dollar.
Hmm. Maybe not.