Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Day 3-Your first love


My first love was this guy...He's the one without sunglasses...Such a dork. Evan Tullos.
We met when I was in 7th grade. I chased this guy until the night before he got married. He was the one guy who really changed me..He humbled me. You see, he never really loved me. I was the girl he turned to to make other people mad. We did have fun together, but he broke my heart on a weekly basis. I can remember one boy telling me, "Jules, he will never love you the way you love him."  This guy was a great friend, and I think he secretly had a crush on me..Thanks Paul, you did make me feel special on many many occasions.
Evan and I went through a lot together. Most of it tinged with my sadness of knowing he would never truly commit to me..We partied all the way through high school, and even college. But somewhere around that time he got his girlfriend preggers and they got married..And for me, that was it. I did and still do believe in love and marriage, so I let it go..I can still remember Evan's little sister coming to my house to get ready for his wedding..I was sad and sick all at the same time..At one point, Evan was my favorite person in the world. What I knew and still know is that Evan may be fabulous now, but at our core, he and I are too familiar with each other for him to bullshit me. I know him. The real him. The funny dorky, adorable, silly him..And he knows those same parts of me..
The two of us have emailed and phone chatted over the years but we have not been in the same room for almost 18 years. I feel weird about seeing him, considering I am about 40 pounds heavier than I should be at my age..And also, I don't drink anymore and feel like I could be a drag on the party!!
It's weird because I really don't care about my weight, except when I consider being around ET. Huh? Wonder what that means..

Anyway, Here's to Evan, the guy who I used to love. A wonderfully funny friend.

2 comments:

Tina in CT said...

I reconnected with my high school love about 4 years after my divorce. Boy, am I glad our relationship ended freshman fall of college. I still think of those 3 years of loving Terry but am so glad it never went further.

Annie said...

First love..... That is sort-of hard to say. Theatre people are always in love. One serious fling per show, usually.... And the thing is, I could have been happy with any of them, I bet. I would have been a good candidate for arranged marriage; I see the best in everyone.

There is one, who was the most fun. But the timing never was right, so I guess it wasn't meant to be.