Friday, November 05, 2010

Day 19...Something I Miss

There are lots of little things that I miss. Things from childhood like going on vacation with my family, or finding happiness without smoking..But the things I miss most aren't really things, but people..

When I first moved away from Florida, I moved to Capitol Hill in DC. I worked a second job waiting tables and met a guy there. We became best friends. He was my gay husband, and I was his "hag." We did everything together. Holidays, trips, 2nd jobs, and everything else in the world you could think of..He had a partner and we were close too, but not how I was with Russ. He was always there for me. He dug my car out when it snowed. He fixed anything I would break. He was a real friend..When my idiot X moved up to DC, it put a strain on our relationship. As I shared earlier, the X and I were on again off again and at the times we were off, my dear friend Russ would be there for him. It truly broke my heart.

I thought we would grow old together. When  I married then separated, Russ set my X up with a new girl. And the X dated her while we were apart..Something I didn't know until I reunited with the X after September 11th. Oddly, Russ hurt me as much as my X, but I would still forgive him if it ever happened..

I miss my dog too. Her name was Iris and she was a cairn terrier. She died the day I came home from Russia with Anna. She was 17. And the two most special "people" never got to meet...AugustRose reminds me of my little pooch so much. Fiesty and mean..But adorable and squishy too...For the longest time, I called Anna by Iris' name since I was so used to saying it..

The last thing I really miss is my small group at Church. I used to go every other Thursday night. With the girlz schedule, it's not possible to make it. My Church friendships have suffered. I am not sure how to work my way around it..


Tina in CT said...

A suggestion so you can have Mommy time too. Hire a reliable junior high or high school girl. I had some wonderful babysitters when my daughter was younger. She started babysitting when she was 12 and she was a super babysitter. Ask your neighbors for referrals.

Annie said...

It is hard, isn't it? When I had my old job, or THIS job, in its old form, I had wonderful ladies working for/with me, and the support was amazing. Now, I'm all by myself in a cold room in a corner of the school; that home away from home - and the wonderful friends disappeared. Boy, I miss that. With the kids and all the jobs, I just can't take the time to go to lunch and that sort of I mostly have on-line friends. That's about the size of it.

teachingrules said...

iris was very special. that day when you returned from russia was an emotional day...i still think about iris with my two little ones that have now gone too...