Sunday, December 12, 2010

A Much Needed Break...

Several readers have emailed me and asked where I have been..As I told them, I am frankly depressed by my own blog..Since it's inception, it has been a journey surrounded by, and in some ways over shadowed by, Russia.
And although I found out months ago that AAS would not hire me because of their 1dependant per teaching adult rule, I have yet to come up with a PLAN B.. Now is the time where I should confess something. I never intended Russia to be our forever home. A 2 year teaching assignment would be a much needed break from my own job, which by the way, I LOATHE..It would be a break from the person I have become. A break from feeling inadequate in my own world. Feeling so financially strapped puts a burden on me like nothing other. It puts a bitterness in my heart, and mainly against the employer who hasn't raised my salary in 3 years...
So for me, I was going to put on my adoption colored glasses and head to Russia for a chance to feel like Somebody. The somebody who can afford fun trips and neat little adventures that I can't so much afford here..

So that's where I have been, still pouting and irritable. BUT trying to put on a happy face about the world I do have...
And in the world I do have, we have SWIM TEAM! and ballet, and OH,,,,my dad went back to work. and is at the farm near Philly, so he comes down a lot and visits!!
We have school and preschool, and neighborhood play time, and yard decorations for Christmas!!
I will be back to the blog after the new year, when in one quick countdown, I will resolve to not let AAS and Russia hurt my feelings!
I'll post some pics this week, then we celebrate the halfway point of this rotten school year!!!
(see, still bitter!)


Tina in CT said...

I know it hasn't turned out as you hoped but to lift your spirts, think of the good things:

your beautiful girls
your family close by
a beautiful new home
and you are employed

How about looking for a different job closer to home either teaching or in private industry that your past teaching experience would be beneficial? Since you are unhappy in your job, it's time to make a move. You have too many more years to work not to be happy in what you do.

Your girls must be excited about Christmas and the holiday activities. Enjoy!

Jojo, Julz, Julianne said...

You are such a mom!! ALways lookin' for the bright side!
I got your Christmas card, and your's will be on the way today!!WHen you write it out, you had a crazy busy year!!!
I love ya to bits!!
Send your daughter and grans my love too!

Tina in CT said...

Today is Natalia's 8th birthday.

How wonderful that your father is now close by. Will it be for long?

Annie said...

Oh, how I understand! HOW I understand. I sometimes feel just profoundly depressed.... as though all the wonderful, fun things in life are over and it is now just downhill.....Nothing to look forward to. No adventures. And, I do think that financial worries, which I am experiencing profoundly, do make one feel so trapped and hopeless. I think you and I experienced our trips to Russia and adoption in the same way - extraordinary peak experiences....which we long to re-live in some new way.

I have to say - Tina cautioned me on this one time... Shouldn't you be careful what you say about your job? I thought no one locally read my blog but in the last two weeks TWO people mentioned reading it. I was HORRIFIED.

kate said...

Where else have you looked?

One of my friends said of me, "Everyone needs a friend like Kate who will help them run away and deny."

Um...she meant it in a nice way.

You can still have a little two-year break somewhere else. Are you an ISR subscriber? You should be. (International School Review)(I think)On ISR there is a q&a resource where you can ask (or just look through archives as I know it's been asked before) which schools will hire a teacher with 2 dependents. There must be at least one... is another good source, despite its cheesy name.

I wonder if you need a little, tiny school who is in need of both a teacher and increased enrollment...

Keep digging! Let me know if I can help.

Tina in CT said...

Yes, I cautioned Annie once and am now doing the same. You never know who knows who and could be reading your blog. You don't want to make the situation worse at your place of employment. Yes, I'm overly cautious.

I well know about financial worries too.

kate said...

Saw on ISR that QSI schools provide tuition for up to four dependents. (Would guess that was for a teaching couple, but that's just a guess.)

Go dig!

kate said...

It also sounds fairly easy to get a job with them--esp. if you're elementary--AND you don't have to go to a job fair.

I think they have a mixed reputation in the international circuit. They seem to be a starting place for many international teachers. But, if you're just looking for a break and not a new career, this could be a good in for you.

They have lots of post-Soviet locations. ;>

Merry Christmas. ;>