Saturday, March 26, 2011

"Tell Me Again About Russia"

I am a hot mess in so many areas of parenting. By no stretch of the imagination do I feel like I am doing as good a job as many of you out there..But there are a couple of areas where I feel proud of the work I am doing with my little babies..The first, and really the easiest is growing my girlz in their Christian Faith. We are still taking baby steps to live our lives for Christ  6 days of the week, but on the 7th day, We got this!
We go to Church every week. I teach Sunday School as well as serve on the Hospitality Team. I serve as one of the greeters. I mainly hang at the children's check in area and help new families with elementary aged children check in, show them around, and give them all the information they will need for their kids..
The 7th day we focus on God all day. We talk about using nice words and how we should never say, "DumbAss" or tell people they are not our friends..Yeah, "DumbAss." Long story short, I have not cursed around my children. For me, it has been like cutting off half of my tongue. But I have managed to switch my vocabulary in and out of parent mode for 7 years. Until recently. While talking about a friend's husband on the phone, I dropped DumbAss about 300 times over the course of a week or two..And yes, my children heard it. So, one morning while getting reading for school, AugustRose, the four year old, called her sister a DumbAss..My mom was here, and she called me. I was stunned because when my mom asked her where she heard that, AugustRose immediately said the little neighbor girl had said it..I was driving to school and I asked my mom to put AugustRose on the phone. I asked her where she heard the word. She whispered, "You said it Mommy." And when I asked her why she blamed the neighbor girl, she whispered again,
"Cause I love you mommy." THERE. Now that is my girl! I don't care what you say about how wrong it is for a child to lie, I know that's wrong and I corrected her. But in my heart I knew that this child of mine is getting it. She is learning that we are a family, and as her mommy she didn't want to "get me in trouble" for saying a bad word..YES, I know the millions of reasons that this is dysfunction at its highest, but for an adopted child, it is a step on the giant ladder of bonding.She is stepping into "protection" mode for her family and that is huge..OK, back to my original thoughts. The 7th day. We are together at Church, and speak of God's love for us, and how NewHope is our Church home and we should honor it each week by giving a portion of our money to help provide all of the services and programs that are offered. Last week I gave Anna and AugustRose their own dollar to give. I explained the basics of tything, and Anna said, "Next week I am going to give a dollar of my own money." The 7th day is becoming magical..
We need to increase our time spent focusing of the Lord . Baby Steps.
But my girlz know more at 7 and 4 then I knew at 18. God has been blessing me by putting wonderful people in my life that make it so easy to grow my girlz with the love of Christ on their side...

The other thing that I am proud of is the way I have handled my girlz adoptions. It may not be the best for

your family, but I know my girlz and what their little hearts need..It started with Anna. I took literally hundreds and hundreds of pictures on both of our trips to Russia. And once home I made scrap books of each trip. In the beginning, I was so tired at night, that I didn't want to read Anni a story, so I would take out the scrap books and "retell" her adoption story. Sometimes I focused on one day of our trip. Sometimes I focused on my feelings of absolute love. Sometimes I focused on my mom, dad, and sister and how much they loved her. Many times, I called her my fat little bald headed baby..She always loves that, because usually I squeeze her little tummy and pinch her cheeks to remind of what it felt like back then..When my girlz are upset about something, or not feeling well, or stressed out at a doctor appointment etc, I ask the girlz if they want me to tell them a story. Sometimes they choose a vacation story, but many, many, times both girlz ask me to Tell Me Again About Russia. It soothes them. and I am glad.
Maybe it's because I teach and have learned how to tell a story in the way a young child wants to hear it, or maybe my girlz are just really good at hearing a story when I tell it..Cause when I stroke their hair and tell them about their baby homes, the tension drops away and they melt into me like a puppy being scratched on it's tummy. 

And for all those adoptive parents out there..I could never give you day to day parenting advice. I wouldn't be so bold. I can only encourage you to remember your adoption experience fondly. Even if you are faking it. Remember Russia fondly, even if your experience was horrible..And when you are out of ideas on how to tame your little lions, consider telling a story. Your child's story.

and one last thing...HAPPY BIRTHDAY the best Dad and Grandfather any gal could have. Thank you for your constant support, love, and overall awesomeness. You are the best role model for my little ones, and I love you to bits!

 The Lil GreenGirlz with my dad.

AugustRose and Fifi..(my god-daughter) at the bowling alley today!

Lately I have been sharing the story of how AugustRose and Anna met .


Stacey said...

That my friend was awesome. You had me laughing in recognition (I curse when I shouldn't... best one was not long after he was home and wouldn't eat anything except liver pate and crackers and I stated to my sister that he was eating "vile $hi&" which he repeated for 20 minutes) and sometimes a nasty pops out in traffic... and the part about their story and Russia being retold as an amazing, beautiful fairy tale complete with the happy ending... sing it sister! Love this post :)

Kat said...

I think you are too hard on yourself. Many parents male the same mistakes. It is cool that she was protecting you. I think you did a fine job correcting her. I'll bet they love hearing their adoption tales. You are a fine mom.

Jojo, Julz, Julianne said...

Thanks guys!
Don't ya love a child's ability to hear a curse word, but can't seem to hear it when I say, FLUSH THE TOILET!!!