Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Just a little background vocals..
Wow..I just looked on the feed thingy and it says I have had nearly 15K hits on my blog..That is crazy.  I never imagine anyone reading my thoughts and ideas..I bet you think I am crazy to want to leave my home and go to Russia..I bet you think I have it made with a nice home and job, and all the trappings of suburban life..Well, just so ya know..I want more. And with that "more", I am willing to have less..I would share a 1 bedroom apartment with my girlz and live on Ramen noodles and diet coke if it meant giving my girlz their home country experience. I want my girlz to feel Russian. Weird I know. After literally traveling around the world to get my girlz to the Good Ole USA, I want to pack it in and go back..But you have to know, there is so much more than just going there..

Oh well, I will keep plotting and scheming!
Today is a good day..Kids are playing in the yard, and momma is sitting on the porch blogging..Honestly, there's nothing better than this

Hey all, just wanted to respond to your comments...
Firstly, No my girlz don't really want to go to Russia. I mean, they don't ask me to move there..But once I tell them, "Mommy will be with you at your school IF we were to move there" they do say they would want to go..But just for a little while..

And this part will be hard to explain..My girlz will never feel Russian. And as much I think they need to, they won't want to..BUT, when they are adults and in therapy for some crazy mess I have done, they will always be able to say, "My mother did everything in her power to give us a positive image of our birth country." But it's also about being able to show my girlz the world. I want my girlz to feel that the universe is there for them to experience. Of course their momma would be right by their side guiding them along the way...

I cannot explain this desire to go Back To Russia..I just can't. Adoption is giant. For me, International adoption, namely Russian adoption lit the desires that were buried deep within my soul. It gave ME back a sense of urgency to learn, to explore, and to be a part of a global community. Ordinary, became just that. Regular became just that. I have always loved new places. Moving to DC from Florida was amazing. I spent the first two years here, driving, getting lost. And then finding my way back home. Losing my way has always meant seeing something new. And Russia felt like the kind of place where I'd like to lose my way. In the end, I know that even in Russia, I can find my way back home..


Hevel said...

As someone who takes his kids back to Hungary every year, whose kids speak Hungarian every day, I was surprised to realize last summer that my Hungarian born kids no longer felt Hungarian in country. They were different, they stood out and they felt foreign, just like they feel Hungarian in Israel. It was an odd realization, but makes sense: when in Ireland, I don't feel very Irish myself.

About the hits: I'm on your blog twice daily, checking for updates! You write well, you have a passion and a goal in your life, why wouldn't anyone be interested in your blog?

Annie said...

Yes; my dear! We love you! And, I really understand your passion. Sometimes makes me envy your husbandlss state, to tell the truth. The old ball and chain, as they say. He is NOT as enamored with Russia a I am, and though you got me all excited at the prospect of the one-room and the ramen noodles, this would not please him a bit. Too bad for me.

Tina in CT said...

One room and Roman noodles would not be for me either. I'm with Craig. Think of your lifestyle now both for you AND for the girls. Not an easy transition and especially when you don't speak the language. Are they bugging you to move there for a few years? How about just sending them for a year abroad in college if they want to delve into their heritage?