Thursday, May 12, 2011

I'm Failing..

I am sick as a dog. My body aches and I'm in tears.
My house is gross. Crap/junk/toys/shit everyone..My girlz are terrible lately. Fighting, arguing, crying, being defiant. And Anna is the fairing the worst. It's so bad, that I honestly think I need to go to a parenting class or counselor. She told her teacher that I loved AugustRose more than I love her..And you guys gotta know how hard this hurts. Especially considering that we had 3.5 years together to really establish a deeep love..She is lazy and won't help clean her messes. And it is making me horribly depressed. My mom doesn't even want to come here anymore because it seems that all the toys and stuff here makes the girlz argue and fuss. So she takes them to her house..

I am not being a good parent. I am so tired lately. My house is really bothersome. And schlepping my laundry down 2 flights of stairs means I don't do it the way I should. SO, I am always behind..

I need some encouragement friends. I am feeling very down. I am feeling like a big failure and the worst part, the part I am most ashamed of, is I want a little break..I wish I could just sleep all day and let my mom or Missi take my kids for a few days..Please say some of you have felt this way...

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, I have felt that way. Maybe you should do exactly what you're needing -- phone in to school because you need a "mental health" day, and ask your mom to keep the girlies for a couple of days -- maybe a long weekend. Do you know someone (maybe a middle school student) who would help you organize your home for a modest fee? Take care of yourself. Your body and mind are telling you what to do. Hugs, JEB

Anonymous said...

Hugs. Encouragement. Maybe spend the weekend with your best friend in the world? That always makes me feel better.

Annie said...

It makes total sense you need a break! You do!

How old is Anna? I'm just remembering that when my beloved Lydia turned five it was like a switch went on and suddenly she was the worst child imaginable. I must have blocked the details out of my mind, but I remember vividly telling someone quite seriously that I didn't even like her! (I remember their stunned expression, so I didn't share that again.) She "turned bad" ON her birthday, ad suddenly, a week short of her next birthday, there was a lightening, the sun came out, and she was back to being my dear little chickie. After that, we never had a problem - even through her teens, she was a darling.

So - all kids are different. Maybe he needs to separate a tiny bit from you....I suppose that's what Lyddie needed....but she came back.

Jen Stevens said...

Well of course I have felt that way! I feel that way now.
And I am off to do a pile of dishes that have sat there all day while I avoided them, but now I am out of bottles and can't pretend they aren't there anymore.

It'll turn around!

Hevel said...

My kids told their teacher that I loved one of them more than the other when they were about 5. Since I had three in the same class, it was scary at first, but by the time all three confided in their teacher, it just became obvious it's a period that will eventually pass. It has passed, but it's a long and difficult period.

I hope it gets better soon and you need a holiday.

Kat said...

You're not failing. You're just having a few bad days. I was a total terror for my mom. You are a good mother. Take a look at the smiling faces in your photos. Take a look at your girls at the B-day party post. They are happy and healthy. I'm not a mom but I imagine being a Mom is just not an easy job. Keep you head up and keep prayers coming. You will persevere. You are not failing.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I have certainly felt this way! I do now... Take care