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DIY, Crafts & Other Projects: DIY: Lampshades with Clear - Throw Away Party Cups...

2012-01-07T09:27:00.000-08:00

DIY, Crafts & Other Projects: DIY: Lampshades with Clear - Throw Away Party Cups...: I found this on Pinterest - Then click through to get the instructions. Luckily the pictures tell allot, because I can't read the writing...

Took my tree down...Lights are ready for this!

That Time Of Year...

2012-01-07T00:07:00.000-08:00


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Location: Moscow Position Title: ES Counselor

ES Counselor Job Description (pdf file - 85kb)

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Anglo-American School of Moscow | +7 (495) 231-4488

It's that time of year.
Yep, the time when I start obsessing about NOT being able to teach in the one school I really want to..
Damn it, I still let it get to me.
I still get frustrated that I am somehow too much. Adopting my daughters is what originally gave me a "love" of Russia, yet having 2 girlz is the very reason I can't teach here.
And I am soooo not placing any blame on my girlz.. The irony of it is just laughable. Yet I never feel like laughing when I look at the employment page and imagine the teachers who go to Russia, hate it and then leave after a year or two..
I have been at my school for 13 years. The last 4 have been a struggle, but dedication to my teammates has made it bear=able..

I am in the final stages of completing my application for the Department of Defense schools. I am hoping to get a foot in the door, but luck hasn't been on my side, so I am not too hopeful. It's just another one of those things you do to make sure you have tried everything..

School for me is hard. So much that I can't share for confidentiality reasons. Let's suffice it to say, this is the year that will change my overall view of education, and where it is going.

My girlz are doing great. Not being on the swim team has been great. So little rushing around. And momma LOVES that..Both girlz are doing beautifully in school.
Both rec'd honors awards for the first quarter. Perfect Attendance and "Quality Student Award" for Auggie. Honor Roll and Quality Student Award for Anna..I am so proud. Mostly proud of their Quality awards. Those are given to students who show respectful school behavior and study skills..Momma Loves That Too!!!

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. We sure had a busy time and had lots of togetherness...

Happy New Year Everyone!

Thanks Every One..

2011-12-21T14:54:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to touch base and let you all know that appreciate all of your encouraging words!!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS...
(I may be back before that)

"Yes, I am a 12 year old.."

2011-12-19T18:05:00.000-08:00

Ya know when something happens and it irritates you. You let it roll off your back and sort of move on. At those times, it doesn't feel personal. You don't forget, but you don't let it sink in to your soul and really bother you.. It doesn't make you question decisions or

people, today aint that day.

Today, the "thing" that has irritated me is one of those that makes me go...Are you effing kidding me?" "After all I have done..."

Some NYC cuteness....

And yes, my response will make you ask yourself, "What is she 12?" and as the title of this indicates, Yes..There are times when I am just that. 12

I won't go into specifics, (Okay I will just not yet) but needless to say, that when you make it about my kiddos, it's over.
O.VAH

Remember, I am still pissed at some for NOT showing up at the airport to welcome AugustRose home. Of course Missi was there. Why wouldn't she be? We are real friends. It's deep and that's what friends do. We were hours late, and she had driven up to DC to meet us, and then waited for us...Waited, and waited...I love her for that..

She showered Auggie with gifts before and after her arrival. She called and checked on us, and of course gave crucial advice. My Florida BFF was so concerned about our transition that she and her daughter got on a plane 1 day after Christmas and came to stay with me.Lee, I won't ever forget that. It's what people who love you do. (My family was there for me, and I don't lessen their invaluable help. There is no GreenGirlz without my mom, dad, and sis..) But this is about friendships that I had grown to value, and am saddened to learn they weren't reciprocal.

So yesterday I realized that no matter what I do, my Sundays won't ever be like they were. Cause I just can't

My Church has moved onto a place of family focused fellowship. And when I say family focused, I mean a mom, dad, and 2.5 children. What used to feel welcoming and warm to me, now leaves this "singletonwithchildren" out of the loop. Many things are geared to be inclusive, but without a group or a at least a friend or two, I feel awkward attending anything other than Sunday school for the girlz. I cannot go to small group, because I am simply too worn out on Thursday nights at 6.30-9.00 pm. There is no childcare and quite honestly most people don't get how my job is different than other types of jobs. My job not only physically wears me out, but emotionally, it drains me to the point of tears almost daily. Not only that, but I have school work to do each night. Oh, and let me throw in the 2 graduate courses I am taking. (So when I hear people say, "It's only 2 nights a month." I want to rip my ears off my head..

NYC at the Macy's Parade

My need to be spiritually fed is not met because I am teaching Sunday school all the time.

I tried to take myself off the schedule but was put on again. I have been teaching since 6 months after I joined the Church. Long before I had children of my own. We have 3 services..And a million children, but the tiniest percentage of parents help out as our membership requires..So like with so many other organizational requirements, "It's Important til It's Not." It has been asked that parents volunteer, but somehow I am teaching more. Which means I don't go to service. Parents show up at the door with coffee in their hand, and I want to say, "Don't you realize we are all waiting for you?" I have to leave my own daughter in her class while parents mosey up to get their kids..and let me throw in, most of these parents DO NOT volunteer in KidsTime..My though is, if you have a child in the program, you should be serving. But no. And it doesn't seem to bother anyone but me. I could stay for the second service and put my kids in the VIP Lounge, but again..After teaching, I am ready to get the heck outta dodge and decompress. Only hours from that point I have to spend the entire day with OPP at my real job. So I leave. I come home, stare at my messy house, and stare some more.

Ok, so back to now. Back to why I am a 12 year old today.
As we are all aware, it's Christmas Time. And with that comes a Christmas Eve service for adults and children. Last year my girlz were asked to participate in the children's service. When I happily agreed, I assumed most families were asked. At the first practice I realized it was a select few. We were "chosen." There were several practices and as a teacher, I was active in managing movement, assisting with songs, etc...I was so busy with it, but I realized and was proud that we were a chosen family. I took it as a nod for being a constant teacher at KidsTime, and a nod to my girlz for being well mannered. It was a blast last year and my girlz were tickled to be on stage and among the cast of the show.. So I hadn't heard what would be the plan for this year. It just days away from the service and nothing.
So yesterday in the middle of the KidsTime lesson, the leader says, "and some of our kids are going to be in the show on Christmas Eve. Raise your hands if you have been CHOSEN." HOLY KRAP... obviously my family missed out on being chosen...I was furious. After showing up for OPP for years, my family was no longer in the chosen group..No I don't lead the group service in KidsTime, I am just a teacher. But that is the one spot where the need is greatest..No, I don't volunteer to teach at all the services, but I am ONE person..
During song time, I hid my fury and asked the leader what was going on. She shared that an email was sent out asking for names. Ok, I am there teaching all the time. Why didn't I get the email? If it was sent to the whole group leaders then that would be typical..Ask the ones who aren't actually in the classes..Ask the ones who get the glory..Anyway, of everyone who got the email, no one thought to ask the family who helped so much last year? No one thought to ask a TEACHER who knows how to manage children? And the kicker, no one thought to ask the 2 little girls who are the kindest most easy to manage? So on the way home, I got to explain to them why they were not asked to be in the service, "I guess they wanted to give other children a chance" I told them..(Yeah right, I saw the kids whose hands went up..)

So, just like a 12 year old, I am taking my toys and going home. Times change and I have felt the change for years. I have spoken on the phone less than 10 times to friends from Church in 3 years.
Because I am single, I don't really fit in with the marrieds, because I have children I don't really fit into the singles. The direction of the Church as a whole is clear to some, but because I am upstairs with the children, I often have no idea what is going on. And this devastates me. Church used to be where All of my friends were. For example on Sunday, I left and 2 of my small group didn't even acknowledge me..Or my girlz.
There are so many new people at our Church and I feel like an outsider while there. It seems that the focus has been on the new families, and some of us are left on our own. So many things require the one thing I am short on, time. Today I told my girlz that we won't be going to the Christmas Eve service. I can't be there and watch children perform and none of them live in my house. (This is where you say I am acting like a 12 year old)

It's funny the things that hurt us..

Marriott Loveliness

What's not funny is when my littles get hurt..And that won't happen twice.

NYC after the parade...

I have decided that we will go to the Gaylord Hotel and have dinner on Christmas Eve. The girlz were bummed to miss Church, but they would be even more bummed if they saw some friends on the stage knowing they were left out..

I can't wait for the next 3 days to be over. My dad is here for a few weeks, and we will enjoy this holiday like crazy. The girlz have some really cool treats going under the tree! Hint Hint, pretty much all of their presents are for outdoor play. They are such yard dogs and need a couple of things to make their outdoor adventures a bit more fun!

It's ok if you think I am acting like a 12 year old..Sometimes I feel like a 12 year old..

4

2011-12-16T19:24:00.000-08:00

4school days til a break in the chaos..4 work days til I can stop worrying about things/children that only belong to me for 8 hours a day..4 more wake up days that fill me with anxiety and dread...

It's no one's fault. It's just the way the ball bounces at Title I schools. There's a reason that the government pays off the student loans of teachers at schools like mine. They are places full of teachers who desperately want to help children, but are hindered often by the parents of those very students..

My lil sibling who lost her sister is just pitiful. Several kids in my class cry a lot. Several of them also are convinced with every Boo-Boo that they may die. I have used 100's of bandages in a week. They all just need reassurance that they are okay..Bless their hearts. This week was full of hugs. Today on the playground, one lil gal who left school yesterday with a toothache, sat on my lap..and fell asleep. Her took throbbing, (I wanted to keep her at school at least through lunch) I rubbed her jaw and she seemed to get a lil rest. Again, bless their hearts...

My own lil gals are in the bed with me tonight..I feel guilty. Something has to give. My head spins as I try to imagine where I will find the time to look for another teaching job. Honestly, it might be time for another lil break. I took one 8 years into my teaching career, and it was a savior. If I could take another one, I think I might be okay for the final stretch. I have 9 more years til' full retirement. If I kept going, that would mean right about the time college will start for my girlz, I will retire....And start a new job..Hmmm...
Not sure about that one..

Ok..just checkin' in..

S.A.D.N.E.S.S.

2011-12-10T15:46:00.000-08:00

A child at my school died yesterday. It was a sudden sickness and then it was over.
Her lil' sister is in my class..
And I am not sure how this is going to affect my whole class. They all knew her, and loved her as the big sis of someone in my class...
I am devastated for the family...

A Blur ...

2011-11-27T19:50:00.000-08:00

So, yeah. It's again, been a while since I have posted. Teaching has been a real nightmare this year. Not just for me, but the whole school. So much so that we had to have a whole staff meeting to discuss the downfall of morale. We all pretty much left the meeting feeling worse. So I have decided to do my work in the hours the county has provided. What doesn't get finished, doesn't get finished. I will no longer spend hours and hours trying to finish the mindless dribble that is required. I will do it. Just on my time. I have been giving my job the better parts of me, and that is over. I am now giving it to my girlz.

So let's back up and share a bit. Halloween was great. We went to our local pumpkin patch and went trick or treating with Missi and Phoebe. It was an awesome night.

For Thanksgiving we went to NYC like we have always done. Last year we didn't go and it felt sad and depressing. So this year we took the Vamoose Bus and stayed in lower Manhattan. We watched the parade, went to the 9-11 Memorial, and shopped all over town. It was awesome. My mom will be in bed for days. She was tired after a few blocks of walking. Our favorite part was going to The Cake Boss bakery. We met Buddy's sisters and took home a whole lotta pastries.

As usual the girlz were amazing. I really enjoy traveling with them. They are so fun and appreciative of the effort and cost of taking them places. I get loads of "thank yous" and it feels great to know they understand that these trips aren't magically given to them.

My dad gave them 100 dollars to spend and they were thoughtful in their purchases and did a great job of planning for what they would get.

Manhattan has always been my favorite U.S. place. I would live their in a minute if I somehow stumbled upon a few million dollars to find a place. AugustRose actually cried a bit on the way home. She said she wanted to live their for "just a little while." She loved the busy streets and bright lights from the skyscrapers. It's odd because she is more nervous about so many things, that you would think the place would terrify her. But no. She held my hand the whole time and was just fine with that. Luckily every cab we took had seatbelts, because she is safety aware. She would tell the cab driver to wait until she got herself all clipped in.

October and Novemnber was a blur of school and girlz. December is my girlz month.

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

2011-10-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

It seems that I can’t catch a moment to write in my blog...My class this year is so language impacted that I feel like an ELL teacher. 19 of 20 qualify for services. And most have never been away from momma so they expect that I will feed them at lunch and even help with toileting. Needless to say, I am reworking each of my plans at night..So my own children are getting my Left-Over time. And I cannot tell you how much it grates my nerves. I am doing a great job in my class, but at home, not so much.

Because I never seem to be the mom I want to be, I have set up a family day every weekend. So far we have gone to DC for some Monument Fun with Missi and her tribe, gone on a picnic with my dad, and sister, and new doggie cousin, and gone ice-skating last weekend. (Missi’s kids talked me into going..)

(The pictures are funny because look at the girlz clothes. And the pics were taken 6 days apart. Yes! we have crazy weather)
Family day makes me feel a little less guilty about pouring most of myself into other people’s children. There is a Russian market near the ice skating rink and I had never been, so Missi’s fam and mine went. It was mostly food, a deli of sorts. While there, Anni found these little ring/break stick things that I had given her when she was a baby in Russia. She showed them to me and I burst into tears. Happy Tears of course, but Anni was shaken by that and cried too. I asked her, “Anni why are you crying?” She said, ”It makes me cry when you cry.” I explained that there were tears of joy and then we both laughed at how silly we were acting.. But I am still after all these years so incredibly appreciative of the Russian Federation for my girlz. I’m a sap, I know...

People always say how great it must be to be a teacher, and at times it is. But with the climate in education changing so much, it is getting more and more administrative and less instructional..OK wait, not less instructional. We are actually expected to fit everything into our day. I can’t imagine any teacher getting their work done in the 7.5 hours we work...I am spending at least 3.5 to 4 hours a night reworking lessons, grading papers, planning lessons, making templates, making forms, etc..And I am not alone. No one at my school pulls the 9-4 routine. We simply cannot get our work done.

Most of the problem starts in the homes of our students. I have a class where most of the children are not ready.

As in never used scissors, glue sticks, folded paper, painted, or listened to a story being read to them..Isn’t that almost criminal?
I won’t even tell you the stories of some of the children at my school, but not my class, that have suffered such abuse and neglect that I actually think and pray for these children every day. Life and parenthood is open to anyone. And some families have no business parenting. Can you imagine just letting a child come to school knowing there is no lunch money? Can you imagine sending a child to school knowing that you have done none of the work to prepare your child?
I cannot. But it is me that faces those children everyday. And I struggle with the fact that I give them the best of myself it seems. Cause what’s left at night, ain’t great...And I am sad about how to manage both..
My girlz are thriving. My DC bestie, Missi and I chat about how different our kids are from each other. Her family has been go go go since they were babies, and we tried that last year and it was awful...As much as I’d love my girlz to be on the Russian STAT swimming team, our lil’ family can’t manage being out and about each night.

We still do dance and AugustRose is on the STAT preteam, but our combined days out are 3 days. And we are home before dark on those days..My girlz are outside/yard kids. They love to play make believe and walk the neighborhood dogs, and go on adventures in the creek..Traditional kids stuff..And Hey, I didn’t want to be on the road every night.

We are back to doing our traditional Thanksgiving Trip to NYC. We will meet up with Aunt Lee and AlleeKat while there. We have gone every year except last year, and the year that we were in Russia for our court trip to finalize AugustRose’s adoption. By the way, her Gotcha day is Thanksgiving Day. How sweet is that?
This year, along with going to the Macy’s Parade, we are heading to Hoboken to see the Cake Bosses' Bakery. We know we might not meet him, but we get to see his bakery, and maybe we can meet his sisters...Should be a great time. Our hotel is a block away from the September 11th Memorial. So far we can’t get tickets. But I will keep trying to find a way... I would like to find Laurie Ann Neira’s name on the Memorial. I participated in Project 2996 and honored her on my blog that day...

BLOG POST ABOUT 9-11

I found her daughter on Facebook and we chatted once..I wonder if she knows I still think of her mother? I I want to do a rubbing of her mom’s name and send it to her..

While there, I can do a rubbing for anyone who knows someone who died on September 11th. It would be my honor.

So that's us..Busy Busy but I guess it could be waaayyyy worse... Left overs aren't always so bad.

Better

2011-09-26T18:25:00.000-07:00

This has been hell of a year. Lot's of sadness and anger on many fronts. Some mine, some my friends.
But I am getting better. I am learning the truest of truths this year. I am learning how to manage when there is no help to be given. I am learning to be a better teacher, when the enormity of the job ahead is almost laughable.
I am learning to be patient with myself. I am learning to let go of my demons and focus on how joyous it is to be a mother, daughter, sister, friend.

I am throwing my resume into a lot of new arenas. Because some dreams are made for holding onto. I am still of the mind to get our family overseas. And it will happen..

My AugustRose has started Kindergarten and loves it. She is fearful of the bus, so my mom drives her each day. Anna, the indy girl still rides it. Both girlz are back in dance. Anna in two classes, AR in one.
AR is in swim this year. A pre-team. Anna didn't want to be on the team this year. She told me that she would if it would, "make you happy momma." And of course, I told her No way. Do what makes YOU happy Annechka. She'd rather have yard time.
We are looking into doing the team once a week. Just for the fitness aspect. We'll see.

All I know, is things are feeling a bit better around here.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT LEE

2011-09-24T17:34:00.003-07:00

My sister and I took the girlz to an ice skating party today. I did ok until I started skating alone and going pretty fast, and then I went airborne and fell..On my head. Some how my own skate cut my hand..And somehow I hit my head on the ice. And now, bless my heart I have the most precious whip lash..

Side note, today is my Florida Bestie's Birthday!

Happy Happy Day Aunt Lee.
We love you!

Today I Realize

2011-09-23T11:23:00.000-07:00

Just how lucky I am to be in a loving functional family. Because I can promise you, we are walking among people that are so bitter that it sort of scares me..
Today I realize just how much I love my friends.
Today I realize that somewhere in the world there are aching hearts..
Today I realize that sometimes it IS about appearances only..

Tomorrow I will pray for friends. I will pray for children who lost something. I will pray that dysfunctional families start to heal and reach out for help. I will pray that I NEVER have to encounter a day like today, e v e r a g a i n..

From Now on, I will consider that when someone wants to win at all costs, that person needs not to be sparred against, but watched very carefully, as they may sink to levels that destroy the future of a family..

Just so you know, this is not about MY family. We are ok. Just watching a train wreck happening. My heart aches for little ones who can't snuggle with their puppies, who can't say that they want to be happy in two places...

Hug your babies friends.

Outta NoWhere...

2011-09-22T18:29:00.000-07:00

Just so you know...
The little box on the bottom tells me where you post from...

And I am super duper on my pooter and know that YOU are the only one who would leave that kind of message.
Stop Stalking me. Last warning or will I go a;l kinds of litigious on you..

You should be happy anyway..

Wow, Do We Have Some Catchin' Up To Do...

2011-08-20T16:28:00.000-07:00

Ok. So it's been a while. Sometimes, livin' life is way more complicated and fun than writing about it so big Apologies to those who have been missin us.

We are still at my dad's beach house but man O' man have we been busy..

Let's back up a bit to the middle of July.

That's where my family meets each year to have a reunion of sorts. This year it was in Saint Augustine, Florida. It was there a couple of years ago, but somehow we missed going out in the town. My sister flew in from her mini vacay in NYC and Fire Island and met us at the reunion. I actually fell in love while there. His name is Colin. He is blond and has the most amazing spirit. He's sort of a momma's boy but that's okay. He got along really well with my girlz and my dad and sister, so we are pretty sure he's the one..(that is, if his mother will let us take him...)

My sister was thrilled to carry him all day while we played tourist in Old Saint Augustine. He even fell asleep on her back and she felt like supper Cuz! I know it looks like Anna is choking the life out of him at dinner, but honestly, she was given him some good love!

We had a blast for the whole weekend. Being with my 2nd cousins, once removed..(Yes that's actually what you call your cousins' children) was awesome. Lovely young ones all of them. And being with my dad's remaining brothers and sisters was bittersweet. He was one of 8 and their are only 4 left. My dad always looked up to my uncle Bill, and two of his granddaughters came down. They shared a very close relationship with their grandfather like my girlz do and it was sort of sad that Uncle Bill wasn't there. He lives on though in the memories his "grans" have of him...

My Dad, with Justin and my sis watching the Green's play in the pool!

My cousin Kelly has the perfect set up for a party, right on the bay with a pool and hot tub..My sister ended up in that thing til the middle of the night with Kelly and her sister Kim and their kids and grans..We pooped out and went back to the hotel around dusk..

The last time I toured St. Augustine was when my school went there on a field trip when I was in third grade. So it was fun to do it again with my girlz. Anni will learn about many of the topics in social studies so we made sure to hit the most important sites. The girlz loved the Castillo de San Marcos mainly because they thought it was cool to have a fort made out of shells..

A lil Lunch with the Fam..

Of course we did the Fountain of Youth and watched the cannon being fired, shopped the old town and yes, got spray on tattoos..Hey, it is vacation..

We closed out the weekend with a final supper with all those who were still left in town..And this is what it looked like for the younger crowd..Texting, gaming, playing music, taking pics...They were such great lil' dinner guests!!

Just before bed, we hit the beach for a quick dip then we were off to my dad's beach house in Naples..

I'll end today's blog with this...

If you don't know what it is...They are my cigarettes.. The last pack I smoked..It's been over three weeks..Pray for me. I kind of miss it...
So now you are caught up through the end of July-ish..Throw in lots of days at the beach, followed by lunches at the pool and you are pretty much in the know!

4th of July...& Lido Beach With Poppy

2011-07-22T07:11:00.000-07:00

You'd think I had more time to post, but with all the sun and sand, I have spent everyday just playing and enjoying our time..So to catch up, we went to the beach for the 4th and had a lovely time..The fireworks were far enough away that we didn't have to hold our ears! (I kind of hate loud, on top of your head, fireworks!!)

Then we drove over to Lido Beach where my mom and aunt were staying for a week..The hotel had this amazing restaurant on the top and the views were great! The girlz were playing "Toddlers and Tiara's" here.. FYI, you gotta watch that show..

This is our favorite lil girl from the show...She is Mackenzie..Rhymes with Lindsay...And she is 3 in the picture above..Never have I seen such wildness in one hour..My girlz laugh and laugh at the horrible behavior and overdone make up...We have been putting on Toddlers and Tiara's skits all summer. Nothing to sneeze at this show. Wanna see some parenting, watch this hot mess.

This is the restaurant at Lido Beach. So Lovely.

The girlz with my mom walking the streets...Such a cute lil' area. I got some great things and will share them later!!

Ice Cream Cheers!~

I have so much to share. But my sister is here so not much quiet time. So in a couple of days I will sit down and write it out..Again, I am counting my summer blessings for this time with my family.

Next up, our Green Family ReUnion!

8

2011-07-08T21:00:00.000-07:00

Eight years ago a child was born. In a far off region in Russia that time seemed to forget. A child who would change me from a single gal in the city, to a mom in the Burbs. And I couldn't be happier.
MaryAnna Garland, you are my first real life miracle. You breathed life into me. You truly show me that God is good, tears are for joy, and mom is my favorite word.

You continue to bring love, empathy, and giggles to our home. You contine to amaze me with your heart.

Happy Birthday sweet child of mine. I love your more than my luggage!

Old School

2011-07-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

Lee and I. Friends of nearly 30 years. Wow! We are old!!!!

I hear the youngins calling about half of their friends, "bestie" or "bff" and I sort of want to smack them in the head. A real friendship is one the spans a lifetime. And MY BFF and I have done just that. One of the things in my life that I am most proud of is my friendship Lee. After the auto train brought us into Florida, we stopped at Aunt Lee's for a quick visit. Of course we had a blast doing the touristy stuff. We spent one day at Homassassa Springs, visiting the manatees. It was a great day filled with lots of laughs and a gagillion mosquitoes!~

Lee got married very young, I think she was 22 and this year celebrated her 20th year of marriage. She had kids young, so our children are sort of a generation apart. But that makes it even better. Her daughter, who we laughingly call
"Baby Snookie" or "BabySnooks" is a teenager. She is already doing the things that all kids her age do. So Lee lets me in on what's to come with my "littles." She and Jetson are doing a great job with their kids. Oddly enough, Jetson, who is a real man's man, and tough as nails, doesn't scare BabySnooks a bit. She loves to irritate him by telling him to give her a kiss only to LICK him from Chin to Forehead..That's where Jetson's tough as nails exterior comes out..He tries to beat the livin' hell out of her, but her quick reflexes land her a foot or two away each time..But like the lovin' dad he is, she will beg for another hug or bit of love, only to trick him with some sort of

lick or poke. He gets suckered every time.. He can't help but give in..After all, BabySnooks is a daddy's girl...I will let you in on a big secret, Jetson who I think has actually wrestled an alligator, will move his furniture around and critique Snooks' dance routines. Not knowing the formal names of her moves, he will sit with her and tell her, "Point your damn Toes" and such..Old school.
And while many of our hometown friends, have teenagers, and have chosen to endlessly post pics of parties and all night drinking episodes, Lee and Uncle Jet have chosen a similar path as I. We took it the family route. No more partying, no more trying to capture our youth. We are desperately trying to be good examples to our kiddos. No judgement to our friends. None. Just a curiosity on how people change. Cause believe me, Lee and I used to "party it up" with the best of them..Things have just changed for us..
As I watch my friends from wayyy back, I realize that taking it old school works for Lee and I..Although she has Jetson and they are not only old school parents, they have an old school marriage..She cooks, cleans, makes Jet's lunch, irons his clothes and lays them out..And he takes care of the cars, home, and generally makes Lee a life that is comfortable. He is not the boss of the home, but he is the Man of the House..old school. And it works seamlessly for them..
Their son, who struggled in school when he was little has blossomed. He no longer clings to mommy, but has built a strong bond with his dad. Doing guy stuff like going to their Lil cabin, and muddin' and hunting..
So being with my longest friend has reminded me that relationships do last. Children are blessed by a two parent home. And love looks rather ordinary yet remarkable in an "old school" home.

Riding horses with my girlz..

Aunt Lee with my girlz

Baby Snookie with me the girlz before riding our horses.

Peace

2011-06-20T16:54:00.000-07:00

We had a Peace and Pajama Party for Anna's 8th Birthday. One little gal from Anna's class, 2 of Missi's girlz, 3 little galz from Church, all came over at 7-ish and stayed til 10. It was a perfect number of girlz. Anna turned 8 and 8 girlz were there. I am so pleased with the friendships Anna has. The girlz are from great families. Christian families with strong values. We have known the 3 lil Church since they were all babies. I can actually see Anna knowing these girlz til they finish with high school.

We made tie dyed cupcakes that turned out adorable. I had boxes for the girlz to tak them home with them. After all, we did have cake!

The girlz mixed their own color into the batter and could choose what colors they wanted to use on their cupcakes.

While the cupcakes were cooking, the girlz went downstairs and put on Tattoos and Tie Dyed their t-shirts. So rowdy but not one big mess!

As the shirts were drying and the cupcakes were a cookin', the girlz were dancing and being silly. Bummer that you can't tell that there is a disco light that shines on the back wall..If you look closely, you can see a wee bit of light..
Phoebe is in the picture above..She is a silly hot mess and God knows I love her. She is such a happy and positive little one.

So just before the end of the party my gas/carbon monoxide monitor started roaring! And registered very high. I called the non emergency phone number and they told me to get all the girlz out of the house and call 911. The fireman came, lights and all, and went through the house and basement. Turns out, the sensor is pretty accurate and caught the slightest hint in change of air quality. (I had put all 8 bottles of dye on the dryer to keep it out of the way, and the sensor is right beside the dryer!) The Fire Department thought that was probably what caused the spike in air quality..By that time it was 10pm and the girlz were packing in their cupcakes and getting ready to go home.

And so here are our lovely shirts. Eight lil masterpieces. All so different just like the girlz.

I wish the pictures of the tie dyed cupcakes would have tuned out better. Honestly, if you want an easy lil activity for a birthday party, class party or even adult gathering, this is it..

This year I got Anni a Nintendo DSi. It's some lil hand held gadget that you put game cartridges into an play a variety of games. My dad said he'd like to get it for her..(He knew it going to be the Big Hit) My dad is soo like that. He loves to give the biggest and best gifts. And Hey, I don't mind a bit. He ended up paying me for it..But before that AugustRose had seen the thing in my hiding spot and told Anni what I had gotten. I explained that Dad was so excited that he wanted tp get it for..He's an awesome grandad. He has learned to STOP bringing the girlz gifts all the time. He is great about asking first for gifts and such.

My mom hadn't gotten AugustRose or Anna and gift yet. Today she suprised the girlz by taking us all to the new American Girl store here in Virginia.Yes it was a mad house but we had a great time. The girlz wanted to get a new pajama set, and my mom wanted the doll pjs to match. And this is where I truly love my girlz. They shop. And although they don't worry about price, they know when I tell them, "We are getting this or that" that is what they shop for. They don't beg and plead for Xtras. I can ask Anna, "Do you like this?" Many times she will say, " Yes, but not enough to buy it." I love that. She doesn't want to buy something just to have it. AugustRose is learning that from her big sister.

Here the girlz are at the new Virginia American Girl Store...Sorry about the bad photo quality. Camera phone..You can see my mom in the blue getup in the background paying for the girlz treats..I won't even mention the total..But any sane person would roll their eyes wayyyy up in their head if they knew!!

So it was a lovely weekend. My girlz are out of school and I have tomorrow and I will be done. Then its off to Florida to recover from this year. I have to say that I thought my 20th year teaching would be magical. Sadly, it wasn't. But that's okay, I along with my girlz will make the summer a Deluxe sized, refried magical tropical vacay and that will wash away all of the ick from the school year!

Tomorrow I'll Blog and Today is Tomorrow

2011-06-13T20:20:00.000-07:00

About what I really think of homeschooling.
I think if I had the money to stay home with my girlz, I might put on the most amazing program ever. Normally the idea makes my question the outcomes, but lately, I can imagine a travel program that would rival any class setting out there! I need more control of the way things are done at my girlz schools, and as a teacher from another district, I have NONE..So if anyone wants to send me bucket loads of money, I will do it..

About the new direction I am heading...
I gotta just get back to reality. After speaking with the State Department, I know that I am going to graduate school. I will be finding the field that is CRITICAL in international schools and get my masters in that, and then try again...
About how I think it's redonkulouls to photograph your life for your blog rather than living it..
I see a lot of blogs that have the most perfect pictures. How is life happening when the pictures are perfectly staged. Can't decide if I am jellyfish about it, or think there is a bit of "faking" it going on...

About what is giving me SUCH secret joy lately., Joy has been sneaking in through Rosetta Stone. I love hearing the Russian Language and the fact that I am starting to speak it, L O V E!!!

I have to get through this week, and next then I am home free..And I mean free enough to write anytime I want..Free enough to write with an old friend..Going to Florida just after the ballet recitals..Just cannot wait to put my giant behind in that chair and watch my dyevochkas get all kinds of summery while I get all kinds of "centered"...

~~Tomorrow.~~

It's Friday and we have been on the go. Recital practice, then the Hughes recital practice since we won't see theirs, then a bit of swimming with the Hughes since we won't see them for the whole summer..And of course packing, and trying to clean up..I have given in and let my sister finish up since she owes me a birthday present. And that will be my favorite!
My heart is about to explode with excitement for our Florida Trip..Aunt Lee's, the Green Reunion, Dad's Beach House, sun, sand, and lots of quiet time on the beach..And then there is the possibility of writing the greatest novel of all time...Ok, so I am dreaming big on that one!!

I Dare You To Move

2011-06-04T17:29:00.000-07:00

I listened to this song on the way home yesterday. And then when I got home, I listened again. And then I cried. Cried my eyes out. So much to be thankful for but for right now, I am feeling really sorry for myself. Seems like I can't get anything together in my life. Seems like I am not where I want to be in life. And lately, it makes me cry. Do I miss being loved? Could be. Maybe I miss being excited. I know I miss being able to get lost on any given day.

I have always done things on my own, and I have lots of help. Maybe I don't feel in control. The whole "too many chiefs theory?"

It's Saturday and I had to go stand in line for 3 hours to ballet recital tickets. I am still sick. And I am anxious. My face has gone numb again, and my joints ache.

I am feeling a bit disenchanted at Church lately. I know our job is to welcome newcomers, but sometimes the regulars need a little love..I know that sounds very unChristian, but it is my truth. I am stretched thin and haven't been to Adult Church more than twice in the past couple of months...I can feel that my soul is not being fed. I used to go to small group, but one more night out is more than I can handle..Honestly, I am too tired to go out at 7 and come home at 9...People forget that teaching 5 year olds is not the same as sitting at a desk. I am always ON..Now downtime. I haven't had a lunch that lasted more than 20 minutes, in well, 20 years...

OK. I have whined enough. It is getting dark outside and once again, I am feeling teary eyed..

Graduate School

2011-05-30T04:40:00.000-07:00

I have been researching a program in StPeter. It seems perfect, and close to affordable.

http://www.eu.spb.ru/index.php?option=com_content&task=blogcategory&id=163&Itemid=558

It would roughly cost 2K to take a summer course and then the travel and lodging would be extra. In reality, I would love to take the yearly course. I have been in contact with an alum that attended the full program. He shared that later this year the program should qualify as a school that I can attend using US student loans. We shall see.

F U N D R A I S I N G

2011-05-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

So for the next few weeks, or possibly every so often, I am going to post a link to a product that either
A. I LOVE
B. Is cute and think it would make a great pressie for your gift closet
C. Is on sale and I think it is a great bargain

Now ya wondering why? Cause I am gonna raise some money for a trip to Russia. I have a plan, and in a few weeks, I will share it. But lets just say, I won't be moving, but have found a graduate program that is perfect. A program that I could afford. (The travel expenses are what I need help with!)

So look over these products and if you care to, pass them along to friends or family...If I could figue out a way to form a pyramid scheme, I'd soooo be doing it.!! Thanks, Love you all!

LeapFrog Enterprises Inc.

NEW! Tag(tm) Reading System

This is something I Definately LOVE!
I wrote a grant and LeapFrog approved it. I received a6 Tag Readers, a battery charger and a GINORMOUS set of books. There were 6 copies of each book. They came with awesome little cases headphones. My kindergarteners adore these. TEACHERS, these take the place of your listening centers. No more kids having to squeeze their little bodies around ONE old tape player..OK OK, so I love this company. Order one or ten..I borrow 2 TagReaders each summer and my girlz use them from our home to Florida..Each title offers a read a loud mode, games, and sound/letter practice. There are tons of titles online and you can find a wide range of levels. I promise you will love this for your class or your own child..I checked at ToysRUs, and they don't have as many titles as you can find directly through LeapFrog online..So clickety click...

15K

2011-05-24T15:05:00.000-07:00

Just a little background vocals..

Wow..I just looked on the feed thingy and it says I have had nearly 15K hits on my blog..That is crazy. I never imagine anyone reading my thoughts and ideas..I bet you think I am crazy to want to leave my home and go to Russia..I bet you think I have it made with a nice home and job, and all the trappings of suburban life..Well, just so ya know..I want more. And with that "more", I am willing to have less..I would share a 1 bedroom apartment with my girlz and live on Ramen noodles and diet coke if it meant giving my girlz their home country experience. I want my girlz to feel Russian. Weird I know. After literally traveling around the world to get my girlz to the Good Ole USA, I want to pack it in and go back..But you have to know, there is so much more than just going there..

Oh well, I will keep plotting and scheming!
Today is a good day..Kids are playing in the yard, and momma is sitting on the porch blogging..Honestly, there's nothing better than this

EDIT:
Hey all, just wanted to respond to your comments...
Firstly, No my girlz don't really want to go to Russia. I mean, they don't ask me to move there..But once I tell them, "Mommy will be with you at your school IF we were to move there" they do say they would want to go..But just for a little while..

And this part will be hard to explain..My girlz will never feel Russian. And as much I think they need to, they won't want to..BUT, when they are adults and in therapy for some crazy mess I have done, they will always be able to say, "My mother did everything in her power to give us a positive image of our birth country." But it's also about being able to show my girlz the world. I want my girlz to feel that the universe is there for them to experience. Of course their momma would be right by their side guiding them along the way...

I cannot explain this desire to go Back To Russia..I just can't. Adoption is giant. For me, International adoption, namely Russian adoption lit the desires that were buried deep within my soul. It gave ME back a sense of urgency to learn, to explore, and to be a part of a global community. Ordinary, became just that. Regular became just that. I have always loved new places. Moving to DC from Florida was amazing. I spent the first two years here, driving, getting lost. And then finding my way back home. Losing my way has always meant seeing something new. And Russia felt like the kind of place where I'd like to lose my way. In the end, I know that even in Russia, I can find my way back home..

Options and Adentures

2011-05-22T11:03:00.000-07:00

I have always said, "In order to truly move forward, sometimes you have to go back.." And I don't know how yet, but I am..I am going backwards, in the most radical way a family can..

I have learned so much about our family lately. I have learned about the way my girlz need and accept love. Thanks to the 5 Love Languages of Children. My girlz are very different. I would say radically, but I already said that.. I am just beginning the book, but HIGHLY encourage any parent to take a read...If you have children under 5, it won't be as useful yet, since very young ones require all five love languages..But for parents like me, who are currently int the season of struggle, it may just be a life saver..

As many of you know I am in need of a job change. The distance to my current school is just too great. I could handle the commute before I was a mom, and before the county changed the bell schedule. But now that both of my girlz will be in school, I need to be more available to be a part of their school experience. As it stands now, I can't make it to very many night events at either my school or the girlz school..Gas prices are killing my budget, and the stress and anxiety I feel during the drive each way is more than my current anti-depressant can handle..Being an early bird to most every event we attend, the unpredictable drive puts me nearly over the ...I know 5 or so minutes late doesn't seem to harsh, but for a chronicly early person, it is horrifying.

I had an interview at a school very close to my home...And never heard anything. The transfer deadline was Friday, so I look to read yet another, "thanks but no thanks" email any day now...I gave honest answers in the interview. I didn't give the answer they thought I should say..I was truthful. So not getting a job that in theory, I already have, sort of cracks me up.

So where does that leave us?
AAS in Moscow and StPeter have told me twice that I can't teach there. (I read their bylaws and although they won't pay for two dependents, they COULD hire me and allow me to pay the other fee)
But it's not gonna happen. I wrote a letter to the school's Board of Directors who is also the Deputy Chief of Mission at the Embassy in Moscow. Haven't sent it yet.. Wondering if I even should..

I can't get a job closer to home..

The Foreign Service is too hard a process to get into to. (let's just say I don't have the time or energy to study for a test..) The FSO can't promise an assignment anyway. The last thing I would want is to go through the hoops to get in only to find out I would have to work in South America some where...

The one option I haven't really investigated much is the idea of teaching in a Russian School. From Tamara I know that there are different challenges, but this would mean I could be with my girlz during the day..And although the salary isn't as it would be in an American School, it would be a guarantee..

The last option has come up a few times. But I have never thought it was very realistic. I am thinking about serving as a missionary in Russia. Now, we all know that I adore the Lord. BUT...I am a
"baby Christian" meaning I am still learning about the Lord and how to live a Christian life. I can't teach adults about coming to Christ..What I can do is teach the children of traditional missionaries. And there are a couple of schools in Russia that do just this. I would have to raise my own money to go, and I am thinking that I would be embarrassed to beg for money. The school in Moscow offers a 10K stipend, and would help find housing. Through research I think we could find a low rent apartment for about 2K a month. I would also rent out my house here in the states and could earn about 6K for the year after expenses. So I would be left to raise around 6K for housing. I think I could easily beg my friends into giving me some frequent flyer miles for travel, leaving only our day to day expenses... I am researching the going rate for teaching english to children or young adults, and think that I could use that as our day to day expenses..
I have savings that would pay for emergencies.

I am willing to work hard to plan for an adventure that would Take Us Back..If you have any funding ideas, adoption agencies that would want an American in country, a Church willing to assist, or grants sources, please send them my way.. I am praying for the whole thing to work itself out, but if I know one thing, it's that Life is as clear as mud sometimes..

A Party in the Garden..

2011-05-14T18:36:00.000-07:00

AugustRose celebrated her 5th birthday party today. And it was glorious..The rain held off for just enough time to enjoy a tour of the garden center, a planting session, pizza, birthday cake and PREZZIES!!

The children were lovely.

The little ones on the end are my students. Although they just left our school. :( They are such a nice family. The twins are adopted from Russia. So of course they are already like family!!

This is the most beautiful flower ever...Looks just like a ballerina fairy...

Some of the kiddies planting..They got to decorate the pots at the end..Adorable~

I took this before putting the cake on the table..Yes, there was a cake!

And yes, AugustRose is holding L's hand..This is the only toddler that AugustRose loves. She thinks she is "soo cute." (I'd show ya, but her mom would rather keep her beauty all to herself!) :)

AugustRose has never been so gracious. She was the perfect birthday girl...

And this is one of my teammates, with another ones baby! Aunti Maria is gonna be an awesome mom one day!

I'm Failing..

2011-05-12T06:07:00.000-07:00

I am sick as a dog. My body aches and I'm in tears.
My house is gross. Crap/junk/toys/shit everyone..My girlz are terrible lately. Fighting, arguing, crying, being defiant. And Anna is the fairing the worst. It's so bad, that I honestly think I need to go to a parenting class or counselor. She told her teacher that I loved AugustRose more than I love her..And you guys gotta know how hard this hurts. Especially considering that we had 3.5 years together to really establish a deeep love..She is lazy and won't help clean her messes. And it is making me horribly depressed. My mom doesn't even want to come here anymore because it seems that all the toys and stuff here makes the girlz argue and fuss. So she takes them to her house..

I am not being a good parent. I am so tired lately. My house is really bothersome. And schlepping my laundry down 2 flights of stairs means I don't do it the way I should. SO, I am always behind..

I need some encouragement friends. I am feeling very down. I am feeling like a big failure and the worst part, the part I am most ashamed of, is I want a little break..I wish I could just sleep all day and let my mom or Missi take my kids for a few days..Please say some of you have felt this way...

Thanks But...

2011-05-10T15:11:00.000-07:00

I got an email from AAS and it was nice, sharing that they got my resume and would contact me if they needed more info...Oh Well, I tried. Again.

And as for the two schools I am trying to transfer to, Nothing. A gal pal from my school got a call from one of them...She is willing to teach up to 3rd grade, and I am only trying for kindergarten.. Funny, I can't get an interview for a job I already have. She has 1/2 the years I have, but a great teacher!

Man, I am in a funk..And Anna is too..I'll share that on..Once I figure out how to get her through it. And this weekend is AugustRose's birthday party. We are having a garden party at a nursery..15 or so kiddies will come and plant flowers and have cake, and then we will celebrate the wonder that it my Auggieeee!!

Nothing...

2011-05-08T11:07:00.000-07:00

Although AAS said they would acknowledge each application, I haven't heard anything. They probably had to post the opening and had no intention of contacting anyone who sent resumes. It's ok. I sort of understood my chances were NIL when I sent the resume over...It would have been nice to be acknowledged. But who said manners were still alive in the business world?

I am on a "less than 30 day" countdown at school..I sent my resume to 2 schools that are closer to my home, and after the principals at each school reviews all of the resumes, the candidates that are going to be interviewed will get a call..Wow. I thought we would all get a chance to at least interview. It would be all but ironic if I couldn't get an interview in a system where I already have a job...Can't blame that on having too many kids~
If nothing happens, I will just go back and fight the commute another year. Graduate school is on the horizon, and there is a chance I could do a bit of travel during that..We'll have to see.

And here is the inside of my purse...I see other people posting this on their blogs so I thought I would too..I invite Anni and Tina, who read this blog to do the same!

What I see is:

Clothespin

Bug Repellan Wipe

Shamoo from Disney World

Bandaide Holder

D&G Light Blue Parfum

Wallet

Pen

Space Shuttle Toy

Hersheys Kiss

Pen

Green Erase

Happy Mother's Day everyone! It's good to be celebrating with my kids..There is someone out there waiting to bring their child home from Russia, My heart is with you ...I know the wait is hard, but once that precious child is home, you find out the wait was the easiest part!!

Blessings,

Julianne

Because I HAD to...

2011-05-01T07:14:00.000-07:00

So once again, I set myself up for failure..I applied for a job I saw online. A job I couldn't NOT apply for..A job I have already been told I couldn't have. But now, because I saw that AAS (International School in Moscow) is a Department of State supported school, I just felt like it was only fair that I be considered. I shared the truth about getting "CLOSE" in St. Petersburg, but shared that I wanted to be reconsidered, because of my extensive experience...
If nothing else, they will know I am persistent.

Let's see how long it takes to get a rejection email..

My team is being broken up next year..One of my team mates is being moved to 2nd grade. And we are heartbroken. It's like a divorce that no one wants. And now I am more convinced that it is time for me to make a change. And if not going to Russia, it is getting closer to home..
We'll see.

2011-04-25T18:07:00.000-07:00

Just before going to Church, I managed to get my girlz together for a quick photoshoot..30 or 40 pictures later and I got this one..Easter was wonderful. For the first time, AugustRose got to go to the big kidz service. Of course I was working with that group, so finally we were all together at Church! Soon AugustRose will move up to the big kidz group permanently and my life will be much easier.
I felt enormous gratitude all day Sunday. My mom was at Church and came over for lunch afterwards. We missed my sister, but she is having some "med" troubles that have to do with her Bipolar and wasn't up for it..

Today after school, I was running around gathering materials for AugustRose's upcoming 5th birthday and I had that familiar feeling. It only happens on sunny days and when a certain smell drifts into my space. It's the feeling of upcoming excitement. Not that I have any big fun news now...It is the feeling I remember with both adoptions. It's a quick feeling that comes and goes in a flash, but it's enough to make me smile..For those who have adopted, it's the direct recollection of the way most of us felt once we have been given a court date, and our travel arrangements have been made..Just pure joy..I wish I felt that way more. I think that feeling is the same feeling "crack-heads" talk about..That feeling of searching for the perfect 1st high. Cept I won't be adopting or doing crack any time soon..

I have around 40 or so days left of school. I will be going to Transfair this year. There are 4 schools in my district that are much closer to my house. I will try for each of those and see how it goes..I really don't want to leave my team, but getting stuck in traffic last week, knowing Anna had come home sick, made the final decision for me..I have gone back and forth with this. And there is a big chance I won't get a job at one of the schools I am trying to transfer to. So this is one of those times that I have really given this over to God. I have prayed about my job for 3 years. Three. It seemed that after AugustRose came home from Russia, my work became more cumbersome. The bell schedule changed and slammed me right in the middle of one of the country's worst commutes. And don't get me started on gas prices...

So for now, I am just in a state of "eeehhh" and counting the days to the glorious fabulous summer where I will spend my days on my dad's sandy shores of Naples of Florida...Hey! I am already feeling better! (not really, but I hate to leave here like negative Nelly)

Happy Easter

2011-04-23T20:49:00.000-07:00

I know, it's not about the chocolates and treats, but it's so fun..The girlz can't wait for Church tomorrow. It's called WhiteWash Sunday..Loads of fun, lots of songs, everything is white, and best of all..My kidz are figuring out that this is the day that Jesus came back to us..Big concept to understand..

I am ending my spring break. Which breaks my heart. I am counting the days until I only have to deal with MY OWN children. I have said it before, and I will say it today. I gotta find a way to change it up so that I don't have DREAD every Sunday night..

H A P P Y E A S T E R E V E R Y O N E!!!

Cheetah vs Lion, Mother cheetah chases and owns Lion to protect her cubs...

2011-04-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

This is for all the mothers out there, who may normally stand their ground, but when faced with a bigger, scarier foe, you turn TOWARDS the enemy and charge Forward.... Today and for a while, I will have my nose in the air sniffing for the slightest smell of an intruder... The whole school bullying thing is much more serious than I expected. I am okay with that... Just want my baby to go to school and not have to fake sick so that she can sneak home and NOT deal with the bully that is in her class. And lets just say this..And it goes against everything I thought I believe..We are thinking of privates school..Only to keep my child around other kids whose parents didn't THREATEN TO BEAT THE ASS OF A SCHOOL EMPLOYEE...Nice huh? That is who my sweet lovin' angel is in class with..

Are Platform Espadrilles My True Desire

2011-04-04T19:25:00.000-07:00

Sunday in Church, Rusty gave a message from James. It was all about planning for our future. And how God wants us to come to Him with every possible new idea. As it was put, We should pray for insight on decisions, not inform God of our plans. I am working on this one. I tend to organize my thoughts into the pros and cons and then sort of go to the Big J and ask him to Bless the idea..When I was planning, plotting and scheming to get to Russia to teach next year, I did ask J what to do..I shared my reasons for wanting to go, and gave it to him. I was in constant prayer about handling the result no matter what the outcome..And once I knew I wouldn't be going to Russia, I have had to go to J a lot about accepting it. Because I really did want it....and still, I struggle with not getting that opportunity.
My favorite part about the message Sunday, was that we should
Make God's will our desire..
"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalms 37:4

This is difficult for me. I can't seem to make everything in my life for God. I am always on a back slide to "catch God up" to what I am doing. And the hardest thing is that I don't know what the desires of my heart actually are. I know what I want day to day, but I have to ask myself, "Is it really a goal to just live?" or should I be making some grand gesture towards a life? Cause on most days the desire of my heart is to hire a babysitter slash MAID to come in and deal with my children and messes so that I can hit the shoe store for some platform espadrilles. (Yes, I am back in giant heals)

I often find myself waiting. Waiting to live the life I am meant to, until a big moment comes along.
If I am honest with myself, I felt most alive during my divorce and adoptions. Busy, a mission, a goal, an outcome that changed my life. I wasn't really living during those seasons of my life. I was doing. Doing life to get the outcome. But really. How many kids can I adopt? How many husbands can I ditch?
It seems at times I can't be comfortable as the regular girl I actually am. In my heart, I am the girl that is just on the cusp of something magical. Thinking about this, I try to figure out what is it that the Big J wants from me? He put the dreams in my head, He put the desires in my heart. But being that I am a cluster eff of wants and needs inside my ticker, I can't figure it all out.
So at the end do you believe in Julia Roberts' idea from her movie? You know, the Physics of the Quest?
Am I brave enough to leave behind everything I find comfortable and treat everyone along the journey as a teacher?
If so, will the truth be revealed?

(please forgive the Turkish subs)

"Tell Me Again About Russia"

2011-03-26T19:49:00.000-07:00

I am a hot mess in so many areas of parenting. By no stretch of the imagination do I feel like I am doing as good a job as many of you out there..But there are a couple of areas where I feel proud of the work I am doing with my little babies..The first, and really the easiest is growing my girlz in their Christian Faith. We are still taking baby steps to live our lives for Christ 6 days of the week, but on the 7th day, We got this!

We go to Church every week. I teach Sunday School as well as serve on the Hospitality Team. I serve as one of the greeters. I mainly hang at the children's check in area and help new families with elementary aged children check in, show them around, and give them all the information they will need for their kids..

The 7th day we focus on God all day. We talk about using nice words and how we should never say, "DumbAss" or tell people they are not our friends..Yeah, "DumbAss." Long story short, I have not cursed around my children. For me, it has been like cutting off half of my tongue. But I have managed to switch my vocabulary in and out of parent mode for 7 years. Until recently. While talking about a friend's husband on the phone, I dropped DumbAss about 300 times over the course of a week or two..And yes, my children heard it. So, one morning while getting reading for school, AugustRose, the four year old, called her sister a DumbAss..My mom was here, and she called me. I was stunned because when my mom asked her where she heard that, AugustRose immediately said the little neighbor girl had said it..I was driving to school and I asked my mom to put AugustRose on the phone. I asked her where she heard the word. She whispered, "You said it Mommy." And when I asked her why she blamed the neighbor girl, she whispered again,

"Cause I love you mommy." THERE. Now that is my girl! I don't care what you say about how wrong it is for a child to lie, I know that's wrong and I corrected her. But in my heart I knew that this child of mine is getting it. She is learning that we are a family, and as her mommy she didn't want to "get me in trouble" for saying a bad word..YES, I know the millions of reasons that this is dysfunction at its highest, but for an adopted child, it is a step on the giant ladder of bonding.She is stepping into "protection" mode for her family and that is huge..OK, back to my original thoughts. The 7th day. We are together at Church, and speak of God's love for us, and how NewHope is our Church home and we should honor it each week by giving a portion of our money to help provide all of the services and programs that are offered. Last week I gave Anna and AugustRose their own dollar to give. I explained the basics of tything, and Anna said, "Next week I am going to give a dollar of my own money." The 7th day is becoming magical..

We need to increase our time spent focusing of the Lord . Baby Steps.
But my girlz know more at 7 and 4 then I knew at 18. God has been blessing me by putting wonderful people in my life that make it so easy to grow my girlz with the love of Christ on their side...

The other thing that I am proud of is the way I have handled my girlz adoptions. It may not be the best for

your family, but I know my girlz and what their little hearts need..It started with Anna. I took literally hundreds and hundreds of pictures on both of our trips to Russia. And once home I made scrap books of each trip. In the beginning, I was so tired at night, that I didn't want to read Anni a story, so I would take out the scrap books and "retell" her adoption story. Sometimes I focused on one day of our trip. Sometimes I focused on my feelings of absolute love. Sometimes I focused on my mom, dad, and sister and how much they loved her. Many times, I called her my fat little bald headed baby..She always loves that, because usually I squeeze her little tummy and pinch her cheeks to remind of what it felt like back then..When my girlz are upset about something, or not feeling well, or stressed out at a doctor appointment etc, I ask the girlz if they want me to tell them a story. Sometimes they choose a vacation story, but many, many, times both girlz ask me to Tell Me Again About Russia. It soothes them. and I am glad.

Maybe it's because I teach and have learned how to tell a story in the way a young child wants to hear it, or maybe my girlz are just really good at hearing a story when I tell it..Cause when I stroke their hair and tell them about their baby homes, the tension drops away and they melt into me like a puppy being scratched on it's tummy.

And for all those adoptive parents out there..I could never give you day to day parenting advice. I wouldn't be so bold. I can only encourage you to remember your adoption experience fondly. Even if you are faking it. Remember Russia fondly, even if your experience was horrible..And when you are out of ideas on how to tame your little lions, consider telling a story. Your child's story.

and one last thing...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADUSHKA..to the best Dad and Grandfather any gal could have. Thank you for your constant support, love, and overall awesomeness. You are the best role model for my little ones, and I love you to bits!

The Lil GreenGirlz with my dad.

AugustRose and Fifi..(my god-daughter) at the bowling alley today!

Lately I have been sharing the story of how AugustRose and Anna met .

Out Of The Loop...

2011-03-17T14:15:00.000-07:00

I gave up FaceBook for a while. I am doing it to "fast" and be in prayer for E R S. She is a child at my Church. Fasting and prayer together draw us closer to God. For me, fasting away from FaceBook has giving me back time to spend thinking of ERS. Everytime I feel like logging on, I pray for ERS's health. See, this child is very sick. Very. And as of now, there is no real diagnosis. There are many thoughts as to what is wrong, but the doctors are still doing extensive testing to find out what. Regardless, it is very bad. Even the "best case" scenarios are not real good. So I pray. I think of FaceBook, and I switch my thoughts and pray.
The mom and dad of this little child are the foundations of our Church. The dad is our operations director, the mom runs our Childrens Church..So I work for both of them, but I am friends with the mom. She is one of those moms who CAN do it all. And never seems to lose her shit. The dad, well he is just a rock star. He has given our Church the life it has.
The aunt of the child is my friend and my first Small Group Leader. She was the one who truly brought me closer to God, and showed me how to study and be in prayer for all things. We aren't as close as we used to be, life and all. And I miss her. She is married to a man who also serves weekly.
The grandparents of this child are very active members of our Church. Both volunteer every Sunday, at both services. Both are like grandparents to most of the small kids at Church.

And then there is ERS.
She is 8. And an absolute darling. A friend to my Anni, and every other child near her age.
A quick story. When this all first started in the summer, a pastor came into the hospital to speak with her family. He asked her is she wanted to pray with him. That's when she said, Sure, Do you want to start or should I?" That's her. Completely comfortable in her own devotion to the Lord. I beg you to pray for this child, this family.
They were at the airport when Anna came home. The older sister was the ONLY one at Church that Anna would go to when she was a tiny baby, just home from Russia. The older brother was also adopted from Russia. The other brother is a genuinely wonderful boy. And the baby brother who is 7 is terrified for his sister. Bless all of their hearts.

It makes me know that there is an evil 'other side' trying to pull this family down. And as God is my witness, I will stay away from FaceBook this month and pray and pray and pray...

A Letter

2011-03-10T19:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I got a letter that my grandmother mailed before she passed away. It was mailed to my mom and she was just getting a chance to go through all the mail that arrived while she was in Florida with my grandmother. It was a thank you letter. Actually she wrote 3 letters, one to me, one to each of my girlz, and one to my sister. Thanking us for our birthday gifts. She wrote about how lovely the flowers and chocolate covered fruit was, and wrote that she was happy that we were thinking about her. She told us all that she loved us very much and glad that my dad was spending so much time my girlz. She said I was a blessed girl...
She mailed it the day before she had her heart attack. So really, the day before she died...What a blessing. To know my granny was lovin' us just before she passed away.

Life is funny sometimes, because I had actually said, "You know how people die and then someone gets a letter from them after the fact.." This is where I am going to write something and make you think I could be a weee bit crazy, well. Oh Well.
I am psychic. It happens a lot. I think about things and then they happen. I was driving home from a birthday party a couple of weeks ago and had this overwhelming feeling of sadness about my idiot ex husbands parents. I couldn't describe it. I just kept thinking, they are sad and something bad has happened. I checked facebook that night, and the grandmother had died..
I wouldn't mention it, but it happens so much lately that I am always saying, I KNEW something was up with (Insert Name Here)..I think I should read up on this and try to harness this..I could desperately use some lottery numbers!!

Oh, and I checked the AAS website. (You know, the school in Russia that refuses to hire me because I have too many kids,) and I although I am still so irritated with them, I am still so hurt that I can't be there..If they only knew..I was going to go for the summer, but decided that I would rather spend the summer at my dad's beach house. The sun, the sand, the pool, the time spent with family..Can't replace those memories.

2011-03-06T17:48:00.000-08:00

The girlz and my mom at the funeral..They waited til inside to get serious!

As you can see, AugustRose enjoyed our time at the lake..(And she loves her new haircut)

Anna being awesome as ever on the train ride home..16 hours, and not a problem from either of my travelin' babies!

I am putting this one in cause just before we left, we got a chance to babysit MissMissi's newest dog. It is the tiniest thing I have ever seen. And cuttteee! But no, there will be no dogs in the Greenz house.

Lovin' on Aunt Lee after the funeral..

AugustRose 's haircut makes her look older I think..And she was awesome on the train too..We slept in our two seats together on the way home..I squeezed her up throughout the night..It was good lovin!

Anni looks so pale in the Florida Sunshine at Lake Geneva..(My grandmothers lake)

Augggie "workin" on the train...

Even in moments of sorrow, there is joy. Both girlz gave us courage and strength on the day of the funeral..

2011-03-03T13:20:00.000-08:00

It's been a while..
I have so many posts that I wanted to come back with, but sadly, my grandmother passed away last week and we have been in Florida. She was 94, lived on her own, and passed away after a heart attack and then a few days in the hospital trying to recover.
The girlz were very sad and for the first time, they experienced loss that I couldn't help them with. Well, other than comforting them. They understood that their Great Granny died. Her birthday was Valentines Day, so we had just spent time buying treats for her. Last summer, I posted some pictures from our July 4th visit to see her. She was in a rehap center after hurting her back..She went back home just after our visit last summer.

I wasn't so close with my grandmother. It is sort of a long story, but lets just suffice it to say, that she wasn't so happy that my mom was pregnant with me..My grandparents were sort of wealthy back in the day, and my mom and dad were young and struggling to make it with my sister. So they wanted them to wait to have a second child. My grandparents owned a standard oil plant and wanted my dad to come into the business, but my dad didn't want to. My mom was teaching at the time.. My grandparents were concerned with image and appearances..You probably know the type. Sooo, when I was born, there was no fan-fair..Except for my mom and dad. My sister was their bright and shining star throughout her childhood and she remained their doll until my grandfather passed away..That's when my only cousin on that side began to fall apart. Drugs, trouble with the law, and then prison..He and my grandmother actually rekindled their relationship recently and at the end, the only one who didnt share a truly special bond with her was me..She loved me of course. But nothing like with my cousin and sister.
It's ok though. I have that kind of love from my parents. And that filled me up..

Last week my mom was in Florida to be with her at the hospital and my dad was here with me, keeping the girlz while I was teaching..After she passed my sister and I and the girlz went to Florida..Our train returned today..
I read a poem at the funeral..I will post it later. My two dear girlfriends Lisa G, that I have known since kindergarten and Missi, both sent flowers..And my BFF Lee came to help me with the girlz during the funeral..I am so glad she was there. AugustRose tried to come up with me when I read the poem, and Aunt Lee had to grab her and cuddle her while I spoke..
So, it's been a long sad two weeks..I am most sad for my mom.

Time will heal her heart.

2011-02-12T19:10:00.001-08:00

GOSHHHH...Forget the looks of my blog today..CANNOT PLAY WITH ANYMORE TONIGHT!!!
back later to redooo

2011-02-03T11:55:00.000-08:00

I promise to write soon..Right now, I just want to let the last few weeks sink in and then I will share. Nothing really new, but stuff I'd like to get off my chest. In the spirit of honesty and all.
Until then,
I have sent my CV to about 30 schools and have gotten rejections from all..Too many children. Funny, that Jesus. You ask Him for a family. Ask him to somehow make you a mother, and He does..Then He reminds you of it at every turn..Yooooooooooooooouuuuu.....*Insert mental image of me with the big J in a head lock, giving him a noogie."

Life is moving on..It always does. and I am in a state of mindless planning for things that may never happen.

2011-01-22T15:13:00.000-08:00

I learned a lesson today. And I can promise you I will only need to learn it this one time.
Read along with me, you may want to store it in the upper registry of your mind just in case you find yourself in a sticky situation...

"The only people who love your children enough to attack their foes like a raging tiger is their momma and grandmother."

When adults find themselves awkwardly cornered in their own mess, they sometimes send the kids in to do their bidding.And I won't play that. Ever. Cause when it comes down to it, I was strategically placed here on this earth to protect and serve my children and my God, and no one will hurt my children's feelings because they can't figure out how to hurt me..So be warned. I am a raging tiger. And I will come after you.

edit*
It was not a big "todo". It was not something that was even visible to the naked eye. But I am my girlz first and strongest line of defense. And today, they were dangerously close to having their feelings stomped on..And this was an adult who has made sure to place children in the middle of a "grown-up" situation. And I can't, won't ever let anyone, child, man, beast, Anyone hurt my girlz feelings..
If I have to change the WHOLE situation to protect my girlz, I will..

A Possible Plan Beeee

2011-01-03T15:11:00.000-08:00

There is a good chance that I may, just may, have stumbled into a plan b. It doesn't involve going to Russia at all. I wish I could share more, but right now, it is on the super down-low..I will still teach next year. So I won't be going anywhere. Rather, just doing something that will bring me the creative outlet I have been looking for..
We'll see!

Happy Christmas Eve!

2010-12-24T05:11:00.000-08:00

I couldn't let the most special holiday come and not wish you all a wonderful, candy coated, delicious, warm and fuzzy CHRISTMAS!
We spent last weekend at the Gaylord Hotel seeing ICE, and riding little trains, visiting Santa, and generally soaking in the wonder that is UBER Christmas at the most amazing hotel in the world. My mom and sister, the girlz and I had a great time!
Be with those you love this year, go slow and don't rush through the festivities. Make cookies and wrap prezzies together. Love your children and parents. Life goes by so fast, so get those memories implanted on your family. They won't forget them. Buy too much, eat too much, but regret very little. As I have gotten older, I appreciate the holiday more as the Big J's birthday. I find myself more and more sentimental about that poor little mother and father carrying such a heavy burden of being the parents of Christ. They had to be in such Awe of what was happening. As time goes on, I GET it more and more. The Awe of the season..

So have a wonderful holiday all around.
To Tina, and Annie, and Hillary, and Kate, Sherrie, Missi, Moscow Mom and her girlz, The Beet and her family, Marco and his dear daughter E, to all the readers who don't comment but read,
BE safe and full of love this season..See you next year and GOD BLESS YOU!

A Much Needed Break...

2010-12-12T16:49:00.000-08:00

Several readers have emailed me and asked where I have been..As I told them, I am frankly depressed by my own blog..Since it's inception, it has been a journey surrounded by, and in some ways over shadowed by, Russia.
And although I found out months ago that AAS would not hire me because of their 1dependant per teaching adult rule, I have yet to come up with a PLAN B.. Now is the time where I should confess something. I never intended Russia to be our forever home. A 2 year teaching assignment would be a much needed break from my own job, which by the way, I LOATHE..It would be a break from the person I have become. A break from feeling inadequate in my own world. Feeling so financially strapped puts a burden on me like nothing other. It puts a bitterness in my heart, and mainly against the employer who hasn't raised my salary in 3 years...
So for me, I was going to put on my adoption colored glasses and head to Russia for a chance to feel like Somebody. The somebody who can afford fun trips and neat little adventures that I can't so much afford here..

So that's where I have been, still pouting and irritable. BUT trying to put on a happy face about the world I do have...
And in the world I do have, we have SWIM TEAM! and ballet, and OH,,,,my dad went back to work. and is at the farm near Philly, so he comes down a lot and visits!!
We have school and preschool, and neighborhood play time, and yard decorations for Christmas!!
I will be back to the blog after the new year, when in one quick countdown, I will resolve to not let AAS and Russia hurt my feelings!
I'll post some pics this week, then we celebrate the halfway point of this rotten school year!!!
(see, still bitter!)

Day 29 and 30 Wishes...and a Picture

2010-11-14T18:40:00.000-08:00

It's tough to ponder what I really wish for..I am still, after several months, adjusting to the fact that I won't be in Russia next year..Funny, all the things I was willing to walk away from are seeming more and more important to me..Swim Team, Ballet, my home, my mom, dad, and sister, neighborhood playtime, my Church, friends, are beginning to bring me the everyday joy I have been missing..Although I haven't truly come up with a plan B, I guess my wish would be to find a job closer to home..A job that brings me satisfaction...

I am posting a picture of AugustRose from the summer at my dad's beach house.

This weekend I got a copy of our last post placement report. Our time under the control of the Russian authorities is officially over. I am sad about it. I have been either in the process of adopting or doing PPRs for the past 8 years. Weird to think that I am finished with it all..Thank you Novosibirsk and Komsomolsk for giving me the most precious gifts. A peice of my heart will always be with both cities!

Day 28 Something That Stresses Me Out

2010-11-13T19:38:00.000-08:00

Lately, everything stresses me out. But the one that is causing the biggest irritation for me is my commute.
It takes over an hour to get to my job and traffic is a bear. I don't mind slowly creeping to me job, but the idiots I commute with seem VERY determined to weave in and out of the lanes in order to gain an inch from where they started! And if I happen to be in the way, Oh let the horns start to blow. Sometimes I see the really angry driver who throws his hands in the air behind me and yells in his car. Really? If I can change my commute, hopefully a lot of other things will fall in line!

Day 25 26 27

2010-11-13T19:34:00.000-08:00

Day 25 was to put your Ipod on shuffle and press play and see what song comes up..No Ipod for me..

Day 26 is to post a pic of the family...Check out my header, that's us!

Day 27 Pets...We don't have one and don't plan on gettin' one.

Day 23..or something. I am too ADD to remember. Something I Have Learned

2010-11-10T14:25:00.000-08:00

Believe in God, and trust Him.

Man have I been down on my knees, beggin Him to get me through. And He does..I am a really hot mess most of the time, and need as much help as I can gather...He is there.
When I waited for court, He was there. When I waited for a referral, he was there. When I ache and cry, He is there..When I am joyful, He is there..

It's been a long time since I shared how grateful I am.Even in the storms of life, I am grateful. For everything I have and everything I am...

FAVORITE VACATION..

2010-11-10T14:22:00.000-08:00

There are two...
Family trips to Walt Disney World to celebrate someone's birthday...
Long weekend trips to NYC, to show my girlz the city...

Day 21 Favorite City

2010-11-08T19:10:00.001-08:00

Hands Down, no question, Khabarovsk Russia...

Day 20 Nicknames.

2010-11-06T09:37:00.000-07:00

I have several nicknames..Jojo, Julz, And Tiger, which everyone associated to my dad STILL calls me at 42..If anyone on my dad's side of the family were asked, they would know me that way..No one has EVER called me Julie. or Ann.

As for my girlz, both have lots of nicknames.
Anna's: Annechka, the most common. Anni, Pootie, Sussie, and Ahn.
AugustRose: Auggie, Rosie, Tootsie, AugaRose, and Augalee..

Many, many, times when I call the girlz at the same time, I call them, "Hooootttiies" I don't know where hoootie came from, just sounds loving and fun to me. When I am fussing at them I use their formal names...

Day 19...Something I Miss

2010-11-05T16:27:00.000-07:00

There are lots of little things that I miss. Things from childhood like going on vacation with my family, or finding happiness without smoking..But the things I miss most aren't really things, but people..

When I first moved away from Florida, I moved to Capitol Hill in DC. I worked a second job waiting tables and met a guy there. We became best friends. He was my gay husband, and I was his "hag." We did everything together. Holidays, trips, 2nd jobs, and everything else in the world you could think of..He had a partner and we were close too, but not how I was with Russ. He was always there for me. He dug my car out when it snowed. He fixed anything I would break. He was a real friend..When my idiot X moved up to DC, it put a strain on our relationship. As I shared earlier, the X and I were on again off again and at the times we were off, my dear friend Russ would be there for him. It truly broke my heart.

I thought we would grow old together. When I married then separated, Russ set my X up with a new girl. And the X dated her while we were apart..Something I didn't know until I reunited with the X after September 11th. Oddly, Russ hurt me as much as my X, but I would still forgive him if it ever happened..

I miss my dog too. Her name was Iris and she was a cairn terrier. She died the day I came home from Russia with Anna. She was 17. And the two most special "people" never got to meet...AugustRose reminds me of my little pooch so much. Fiesty and mean..But adorable and squishy too...For the longest time, I called Anna by Iris' name since I was so used to saying it..

The last thing I really miss is my small group at Church. I used to go every other Thursday night. With the girlz schedule, it's not possible to make it. My Church friendships have suffered. I am not sure how to work my way around it..

Day 18 Something I Regret

2010-11-03T18:18:00.000-07:00

Man, I could fill a few blog posts with regrets..Most of them pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. Most of them didn't really affect the path I am still on...Some of them were truly hurtful. Some of them were not..
I am all about honesty. All about the truth, ugly or not. Trashy or not. So here goes.
Once upon a time I was married. Like my mother used to say, "he wasn't our people."At best he was an addict, at worst a sociopath..At the time we married, he was clean and sort of sober. He drank but not really that much..I had this "broken wing" theory that I could "fix" anyone. I took it seriously and made it my mission to fix this problem of his and make our relationship work..We married in Vegas, and like the commercial says, "It shoulda stayed there.." During that trip, I got pregnant..I found out at two months and was thrilled. I had several doctor's appointments, and at 11.5 weeks had my first sonogram..It wasn't there. No heartbeat. I was wrecked. Broken..And my Xhusband was too..Shortly after we started trying again..Nothing. And it made me crazy. I went through months and months of fertility treatments since I knew there was a problem..
Shots, meds, more shots, daily doctors appointments..UGG.
And then my idiot X and I fell apart. He started using pills..I started using food. My doctor scheduled surgery since he suspected my endometriosis was the problem..Arguments, fights, nastiness and the day my surgery happened, he left. My mom and sister were with me when I came home from the hospital to an empty house..But that is not the regret. The regret came many many months later..
I had decided that I would not, could not take him back again. No.
But then September 11th happened. And like everyone in the world, I felt a sense of loss and terror, and called him..And that ONE phone call is my regret. That call led to many others, and many date nights, and us getting back together...Fast forward and we were back together..Fast forward again and we were right where we were the year before..But the last time was it..He had made some mistakes in those months apart that could not be forgiven. God knows I tried, but just couldn't.
I can put our relationship into this one short blog post, but it was many many years of heartache and pain. There was some happiness in there, but not enough to keep it going..A phone call. My biggest regret is a phone call.

Day 17 Something I Am Looking Forward To...

2010-11-02T15:41:00.000-07:00

I am a simple girl and look forward to:
the weekend.
Sleeping late on Saturday, Church on Sunday..That's about it...

But on a grander scale, I look forward to most anything that I can do with my family.

Day, My Dream House

2010-11-01T17:05:00.000-07:00

If you want the real details go to the link...

http://www.landandfarm.com/property/LAVISH_EQUESTRIAN_ESTATE-78183/

A Bible Verse Day, something or other

2010-11-01T17:00:00.000-07:00

Anna wasn't Anna. Before the referral, the baby I would adopt would be name Mary. (After my Mother) The middle name wasn't solid yet..Then I had a dream, a dream about a child named Garland..And I kid you not, I opened my bible and here is what I read...

Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck. - Proverbs 1:8-9

Day ? A Picture I Love

2010-11-01T16:47:00.000-07:00

After putting the comforter over the edges of the crib in Moscow, a sleeping Anna gave me her foot to tickle..She was sound alseep but already used to me tickling her to sleep! Not even home to America, but already used to "lovin"...

Goals..Day 13

2010-10-29T17:59:00.000-07:00

Gosh, this one is tough. How does one actually figure out goals...Long term? Short term? Family Goals? Work Goals? Personal Goals?

So here is one wide sweeping goal. I plan to be a happy, healthy, good mother, employed, and working on myself in a variety of ways, with the help of a variety of friends and family..
Generic? Sure.
Oh, and somewhere in there, something amazing and magical will happen.

Day ? What I Believe...

2010-10-28T11:41:00.000-07:00

I believe that God is with me. He gets a twisted kick out of my sense of humor..Hey, HE gave it to me..I love God and work everyday to be good FOR him. I want everyone to follow The Word of Jesus Christ, but I will love you if you aren't there yet. But I do want you to give J.C. a chance..

I believe in tolerance. In all aspects, but mostly in reference to homosexuality. My heart tells me to pray about it because I don't think God really loves the idea...But he also doesn't love anything that puts us at odds with The Word. I am happy that our world is slowly becoming more tolerant about this. Being in the DC area, I have had enough education to know its not really a choice...It's not really a huge part of my life, but my sister is. And by golly, I won't have anyone slamming her for any reason..I CAN, but no one else can!

I believe that people with money, Lot's of money, are often the people that should never be trusted with it.

I believe that being a parent should be the FIRST priority in every mother or father's life..I believe you give up your every chance at freedom, relaxation, adult time, and free time alone, when you become a parent. Anything and everything we do should be mirrored against how it will affect our children. We have to give up our secret dreams in order to be a responsible parent.

I believe that pride is disgusting. I know I often post happy happy love love posts here, but in order to be honest and truthful, I do admit to being lazy, messy, a smoker, fat, and dreamy...I am not perfect, nor is my life..If you aren't sharing the ugly in your life, I don't want to see the pretty.

I believe that some time soon, something amazing will happen to our family..Maybe it will not be amazing to you, but,
{Anna's first swim meet is fabulous to me}
{getting a mortgage that will lower my payment by $500.oo is awesome to me}
{a first winter snow is a small miracle to this Florida girl}
{Trick or Treating with the GodFamily}
So see, believing in small wonders can really be amazing...

PRAYER REQUEST:
********************************************************************************
Pray for a far away friend who is struggling with many aspects of her life. She is a mom and needs support and love and just isn't getting it..

Day 11, My Favorite TV Shows

2010-10-27T17:39:00.000-07:00

I love a lot of shows, so here's a top ten...

10. Real Housewives of (any of the towns are good)
9.   Cake Boss
8.   Nancy Grace
7. The Daily Show
6.   Chelsea Lately
5.   The New Adventures of Old Christine
4.   Project Runway
3.   Intervention
2. Glenn Beck.....(just kidding)   Everybody Loves Raymond
1. The Amazing Race

Day 10, What I Am Afraid Of...

2010-10-27T17:31:00.000-07:00

There are two really big things that I am afraid of..
The first one is losing my parents..Since I am terrified, I won't even write much..

The other thing I am afraid of is being in staying in the emotional, financial, and professional place that I am right now..For very much longer. The last time I felt this way, I walked into my principals office and resigned for that next school year. I didn't have a plan, or an idea of what I would do, nor did I care. I just had to get out..I remember this sense of Dread that would wash over me as I drove into my old school...I could literally feel myself sinking into my car seat debating whether or not I should drive away to never never land...Once I resigned, I felt great!!
I can't do that now, and that makes me feel trapped. Feeling trapped, well, it ain't good..

Day 9 Post A Picture of Your Friends..

2010-10-25T17:08:00.000-07:00

I can't just put a pic up and not tell you a bit about the person you see...This is Lee. She and I have been friends since I was in the 7th grade. We both played the oboe. Since it's not a "marching instrument, we both did other things. She was a majorette, and I was a cheerleader. She is like a sister to me. Really. We have been through thick and thin together and I love her more now than I did when we went partying together..All once we reached 21 of course!!

Lee is old school. What I mean is, and this might sound crazy, but she is the wife of the 50's...She cooks everynight for her hubby. AND makes him a delicious lunch. The girl puts Jet's (her hubby) food together as if she is making it for a king. Several courses. And of course a desert. AND my girl irons his clothes. OLD SCHOOL..Maybe that's why they have been married for a thousand years. They struggled when they first had kids and thinking back on that time makes me laugh..They used to break up and he would move into their camper..And we would HATE him..and then he would do something amazing for the kids and we would fall in love with him again..And after a year or so of that, they have been just fine..They have tow amazing preteenagers and are living a great life..I am even close to Lee's siblings. Well, one of them..The other one turned into a dirtbag when Lee's mom passed away. Ahhh, Helen. Lee is doing just fine, and you would be proud of the way she is raising her children. They are right on track with their grades and their extra activities..We miss you Miss Helen.

My local BFF is Missi. She is going through a rough time...Since she has her own blog, I will send you over there to check out what is going on in her life..Pray for this girl..Life is throwing her some heavy stones, and needs us all to step up and love on her!!!!
http://russiax3.blogspot.com/

I love you girlz..You have been such great sisters.

Day Whatever, A Place I Have Visited...

2010-10-24T07:52:00.000-07:00

You have seen a million photos of my time in Russia. But before Russia, I would travel to visit my dad overseas. My favorite trip was the one to Malaysia and Hong Kong. The first photo is from a market in Kuala Lampur. It was amazing there.

Here my dad and I are on our way to Stanleys Market..It is a pretty famous place on the top of a mountain in the center of Hong Kong..(Funny, because I had a job interview while in there..It was late in the summer and I could have worked there, but would have had to take a "local hire" contract, which was not doable..But even in 93, I was trying to get myself overseas..

I have posted a million beach pix. BUT this one is at my dad's beach in Kuan Tan Malaysia. There was literally nothing around but the South China Sea and monkeys. While my dad worked, I sat by the sea and just enjoyed life.(Don't bring up how skinny I am here..)

Baryshnikov in the movie, White Night(1985)

2010-10-23T05:34:00.000-07:00

Favorite Movies...The Color Purple - Best Scene

2010-10-23T05:23:00.000-07:00

I saw the Color Purple when I was a teenager. And I was moved, even then, by the powerful message for women in the dinner scene. I hadn't really been "man-handled" nor had I truly lost my power to any man, but I got it. I was 15. I knew that at some point, something, maybe a man, a job, a relationship, would hold me like a prisoner. I could see that friendships could save me. I could see that standing up to those jailhouse keepers and putting a metaphorical knife to their throat would be next to impossible to do, but doable once you reach that level of inner strength that Miss Celie had at the end of the movie...And what gave her that strength? (her children)

There have been lots of other movies that touched me in one way or another over the years..As a child of the eighties, 16 Candles was a biggie, and FlashDance, White Nights, and Pretty in Pink bring some strong memories.(As a kid I wanted to be a dancer!!)
As an adult, I can honestly say, I have only seen a handful of movies. In the 7 years that I have been a parent, I have only seen 2 movies. 2~ And they were both of the Sex and the City Movies..Those are guilty pleasures movies and not the kind that would make top ten lists.

I did and still love Beaches and Steele Magnolias as all time best tear jerker movies..I never watched horror flicks but did watch The Blair Witch Project since it was filmed around here. I got sucked into the hype..Dumb..

My other top favorites are Spike Lee movies..Crooklyn and Do The Right Thing stand out as movies I could watch over and over.
Other guilty pleasure movies are the Fridays movies...Again, can't recommend them, I just giggle a whole lot when I watch them.

Day 6 A Photo That Makes Me Happy

2010-10-22T18:32:00.000-07:00

AugustRose wasn't even two and she looked 14. And look at the Hughes Babies...And my Anni..Good times at Hill Wood Mansion's Russian Dacha Exhibit.

My Sister

2010-10-21T17:42:00.000-07:00

Of all the relationships I have, this one is probably the most complex. My sister and I are very different. Very. I am Christian, she is Buddhist. I am a junk food eater, she is vegetarian. I am straight, she is gay. I am pretty much a non-dater, she is in a committed relationship. I am always with my parents, she isn't. I have an independent streak that she doesn't have. I am forever early, she is always late. I don't give a shit what people think of my girlz, and she is worried if they run out of the house looking like gypsies. I have a million close girlfriends, and she is sort of a loner..

I don't mean to paint her in a negative light. Because I adore her. But honestly, since she came out a thousand years ago, we just don't do much together anymore. I moved to DC to be near her. And we have just drifted. When we are together for more than a couple of days, one of two things happens. She gets upset because my girlz are wild and loud, and like I said before, gypsy-fied..Or, we have a silly blast, like when we are at my dad's beach house.

We don't really argue. But she gets frustrated with me and my dad. Again, the loud factor. I yell at my dad all the time about letting my girlz go Buck Wild at his house but it really bothers my sister..

My sister is an outrageously wonderful Auntie. She was the ONLY person in my life who didn't want me to go to Russia. She knew that it would be most hard for her to get over to see us..My girlz love their Aunti so much. She is caring and patient and enjoys the activities she does with my girlz.

My sister and I are working on our relationship. The problem is, I am boring. All I ever do is school stuff, kidz stuff, and Church stuff. That leaves little time for doing something fun, just the two of us..

She is struggling right now, and I am hoping that we find time to spend time together to chat about it..

I love my sister so much. She is the one person in the world that I want to get closer to!

Here's to you LDG, my cool ass sister!

Day 4.. My Parents

2010-10-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

This is another easy one for me!
I grew up very normally. Cept for the fact that we were farm people. Some people call that "country".
My parents were great. My mom was a super tyrant at times. But Thank God for that. It got my crazy out of control ass under control..She was a teacher, then principal at my school so she was always around me and my sister. She was very strict on us. Grades, behavior, our chores, all that was NO JOKE in the Green house! But my mom was very lovey too. She rode my butt like a mule, but I always knew she loved me..She was always very proud of me. I could feel it.

I was the son my dad never had. He used to take me everywhere with him. I used to go to U of F Gator games with him. (Which is how I learned to drive on the Florida Turnpike at 13) I went to work with him and played on the phones and with the typewriters..Hello, it was before computers!! We went on business trips, (which is where I drove my first Lincoln Continental across Canada at 14). I was always pretty tight with him. My dad was much more tender hearted than most dads. He went to all of our events. Never missing a thing. He has and still calls me TIGER..I can count on One hand the times I have heard him say my real name. Seriously. His coworkers, friends, and family all know me as Tiger.. My dad and I are still very close. He loves my girlz dearly, and leaves in the wee early hours of the day, since it's too hard for him to see his little ones cry when he goes back to Florida. I have always traveled to visit my dad when he lived overseas. At 42, I still don't go more than a couple of months without seeing my dad.

My parents divorced when I was 16 and it was painful and awful just like everyone else's. But the key to it was my dad never left my mom stranded. They always worked as a team, and made sure my sister and I felt like a family. They have never remarried and still spend all of the holidays and birthdays together with my sister and I, and of course my girlz.

The relationship I have with my parents was pretty much explained when I adopted Anni and Auggie..
Mom went on Trip 1 for Anna's adoption. Dad went on Trip 2.
(sister met us in Moscow)
Dad went on Trip 1 for Auggie. Mom went on Trip 2.
(sister met us in Moscow)
How many parents would drop everything, run around for last minute visa documents, then spend thousands of dollars for their child? Most wouldn't or couldn't. Mine found a way to do it. Twice.

I can't complain. My parents are rock stars.

Day 3-Your first love

2010-10-19T16:02:00.000-07:00

My first love was this guy...He's the one without sunglasses...Such a dork. Evan Tullos.
We met when I was in 7th grade. I chased this guy until the night before he got married. He was the one guy who really changed me..He humbled me. You see, he never really loved me. I was the girl he turned to to make other people mad. We did have fun together, but he broke my heart on a weekly basis. I can remember one boy telling me, "Jules, he will never love you the way you love him." This guy was a great friend, and I think he secretly had a crush on me..Thanks Paul, you did make me feel special on many many occasions.
Evan and I went through a lot together. Most of it tinged with my sadness of knowing he would never truly commit to me..We partied all the way through high school, and even college. But somewhere around that time he got his girlfriend preggers and they got married..And for me, that was it. I did and still do believe in love and marriage, so I let it go..I can still remember Evan's little sister coming to my house to get ready for his wedding..I was sad and sick all at the same time..At one point, Evan was my favorite person in the world. What I knew and still know is that Evan may be fabulous now, but at our core, he and I are too familiar with each other for him to bullshit me. I know him. The real him. The funny dorky, adorable, silly him..And he knows those same parts of me..
The two of us have emailed and phone chatted over the years but we have not been in the same room for almost 18 years. I feel weird about seeing him, considering I am about 40 pounds heavier than I should be at my age..And also, I don't drink anymore and feel like I could be a drag on the party!!
It's weird because I really don't care about my weight, except when I consider being around ET. Huh? Wonder what that means..

Anyway, Here's to Evan, the guy who I used to love. A wonderfully funny friend.

Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name

2010-10-18T14:48:00.000-07:00

Today's entry is pretty easy..Why is my blog called what it is...
Solnichka is Russian for Sun..And this fits my girlz perfectly..Sunny..Happy...Bright...Warm and Lovely!!
The first song I sung to Anna was, "You Are My Sunshine..."
Also, I started really blogging while in Florida many years ago, and found that my girlz were such beach babies and it seemed to fit..

Missi Sent Me A Blog Challenge...

2010-10-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

I am going to do this one..Seems pretty easy. I jsut have to remember to blog everyday!!
BUT FIRST;

Prayer Requests:

S, my high school cheer leading buddy is struggling with her co teacher. Not really meeting each other's needs and S ends up feeling like she is not doing a great job teaching...WHICH I KNOW SHE IS!!
And our dear E...This is not good news. On the night that my friend asked me to pray for her, E had a grand Mal seizure. And this is very concerning to her doctors. No diagnoses has been made yet, and this just makes it even more confusing!
T is my small group friend..She just found out her mom has a cancerous tumor that can't be operated on..The doctors are starting chemo ASAP..T is so upset and traumatized by this, that she had to go on "nerve pills" to help calm her down. I so relate to being worried about a family member~~

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Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
*can't seem to load a pic..but my Disney Pics are the most recent, so check those out!
I am Julianne Green, an adoptive mother of two little girlz. 15 interesting facts that I have not shared before...Hmmm,
I play the oboe
I have colored my hair pretty much every color that is sold
I cannot live without my glue gun
My mother washes my girlz' clothes
I don't think we should realize it when other people have lots of money
I don't think about anything as much as I think about my daughters
I am grateful every single day
I can actually feel other people's happiness and feed off of it
I could give up cakes and baked goods forever, IF you said chips and dip were completely healthy
I don't date, and don't think I ever will again
I pretend that I win the lottery, and make lists of what I would do with the money
I am like a man in that I will listen to problems, and then want to go fix them myself
I am messy
I am a Christian in a constant state of "needing to do better"
When a friend or family member needs me, I will be there and move hell and earth for them..

These are the topics for the next 30 days!
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name

Day 3-Your first love

Day 4-Your parents

Day 5-Your siblings

Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 7-Favorite movies

Day 8-A place you've traveled to

Day 9-A picture of your friends

Day 10-Something you're afraid of

Day 11-Favorite tv shows

Day 12-What you believe

Day 13-Goals

Day 14-A picture you love

Day 15-Bible verse

Day 16-Dream house

Day 17-Something you're looking forward to

Day 18-Something you regret

Day 19-Something you miss

Day 20-Nicknames

Day 21-Picture of yourself

Day 22-Favorite city

Day 23-Favorite vacation

Day 24-Something you've learned

Day 25-Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs

Day 26-Picture of your family

Day 27-Pets

Day 28-Something that stresses you out

Day 29-3 Wishes

Day 30-a picture

Kate Got Me Motivated...

2010-10-15T18:01:00.000-07:00

To throw a bunch of randoms together and share a little about what's been going on over the last few weeks. And since I cleaned my memory cards from both cameras, I have some pictures to share!!

We had a wonderful visit from Anna. Anna was one of the wonderful ladies who I worked with in Khabarovsk during my lil Anna's adoption. We have kept in touch over the years, and she visits the states every so often. It feels good to chat with her, but her news about the stall in international adoptions is heartbreaking. Families waiting, families wanting to go to court, and most sad, the many children waiting..Just waiting to find forever families.

We visited with Anna before I knew I wouldn't be going to Russia. She was thrilled to possibly help me adjust..Ugg. This is when I want to throw a glass against a wall, because I had so many little ideas and offers to help...This is also when I want to drop an EFF bomb. It just irritates me that someone or some board would choose a teacher with a few years teaching, because they are cheaper. That it would really come down to money. It doesn't matter the experience, drive, determination, or dedication of the teacher with two children. What matters is that teacher is too expensive..Ok ok, no more negative nelly. Just not up for it tonight..

My dad was here and he and the girlz, and me, sort of, did some gardening. It was very surprising how strong Anna is getting. AugustRose was busy throughout the day doing anything but working. She picked up lots of rocks, and moved them around the yard. Then moved them back. And then moved them again...

We've been to the doctor's this week.Obviously the girlz had to get down to their undeeees. Of course we had to cover our "boobies" in order to get the shot..The reason for the photo was to distract the girlz about the shots they were about to get. I always tell them when they are getting shots. I tell them the truth that it will hurt for a bit, but I will hold them and love on them and when it's over, we will get a treat and take a nap together. And this is exactly what we did! Poor August had 6 shots. We had to get the final MMR, DTap, and Varicella.Then she had to get her first HEP A and a flu shot. The other shot was one that I was supposed to get 6 months after her last appointment, but didn't do it.. Anna had to get her first HEP A and a flu shot. It was

And here is where our little family has spent the past month and a half..At the pool. Anna is getting really good at swimming, and will be in her first meet in November. August and I watch her and get to spend some time together reading stories all the while getting dizzying head rushes from the chlorine filled air at the aquatic center..It's the best exercise and although Anni is really clumsy on land, in the water she is pretty graceful. August has no desire to do it. She says she will do it next year...Hmmm. I don't believe her.

And this is why I have to get a new job. What you can't tell is that it takes me over 10 minutes to get to that little green sign at the top of the picture. Every doggone day. Lost hours of my life looking at the back of cars filled with drivers who seem hostile and irritated to be on the road...

AND HERE IS A NEW FEATURE...

I have decided that each time I post I want to add a prayer request section..If you want me to add a prayer for you, please just add it in the comments..These requests are coming from my Facebook page.

For my dear friend A, she would like prayer for her family's finances. It's a rough time out there, she is an adoptive mom with a house full of children, and a heart of gold...

For a childhood friend N. Like me, she has a truck driver's mouth..We both need to honor God with our words..

For my Church friend S, she is looking for Mr. Right. Hello, I know that feeling.. I know S pretty well, and her Mr. Right's gotta be a real stand up kind of guy with a heart and soul for the Lord!

For Our Sweet E This is a child who was thought to have a tragic illness...Although she does not have the disease that the doctors thought she had, a final diagnosis has not been found, and she is struggling. This is an 8 year girl...Let's all raise this baby up in prayer.

For My 2 BFF's One here in VA and one in FLA...I ask that God gives each of them peace. One in her struggle with her sibling after the death of her mother drove a wedge between them...The other is going through a painful, awful, divorce..I wish I could walk in each of your shoes when it gets too hurtful. I love you both as though you were my sisters, and I can't stand to see you hurting.

2010-10-03T19:27:00.000-07:00

Today I told Anna and AugustRose that we wouldn't be going to Russia next year. Anna quickly yelled, "Yeahhh!!!" Then she covered her mouth as if she wanted to take it back. She looked at me, and with those amazing black eyes, let me know that she was not happy, but she has been doing so many fun things that she would miss them..I told her we may try to go for the summer, and I could get a teaching job for just that time..AugustRose then said she wasn't going. She wanted to go to Dadushka's beach house. I let her know that we could invite Dadu to Russia if we went. She was ok with that..
I am working on a lot of possible leads for summer jobs. I wish someone would just sprinkle some FAIRY dust over me, and Poof! All the details would be worked out. Just like it is when you have a good adoption agency, and the work out all the details of your "court trip" and you get to spend that month in Russia enjoying your sweet babies...

Just to update you, I am still very disappointed at my job. Still overwhelmed with my finances...But I give thanks to God for my little girlz. They can be terrors sometimes, they can be spoiled, they make epic messes, and they drive me nuts sometimes, but they are just what I wanted when I begged the Big Guy for children, so I'll take it.
Anna is continuing to go to swim team 4 nights per week, and she starts back to ballet tomorrow. AugustRose is starting ballet and tap..Homework is much more intense in 2nd grade, so needless to say, I don't have much time to feel sorry for myself.. Thank goodness my dad is her for a couple of weeks. Just having another adult in the house gives me a break. PLUS he is a great cook! and the girlz love him soooo!

Awww the Memories...

2010-09-30T19:52:00.000-07:00

It's been a rainy few days around here, and I am waxing sentimental about summer...So here is a tiny bit of the first part of our summer, the trip to Walt Disney with my mom and sister. It was much hotter than it appears. And it was doubly magical! Enjoy!

SHARE 5 THINGS ABOUT YOU, DAY!

2010-09-24T14:57:00.000-07:00

I share a lot about myself and my life, but these will be NEW things that I have never shared. Nothing too outrageous, just new.

*1. For a long time I was the "rotten spoiled bitter" child in my family It was clear that my only sister was the Favorite..My sister is a lesbian, and NOW I think I am the favorite!! Hee, Hee, my sister will get a kick out of that!
*2. I only eat with plastic cutlery when I am at home..I hate metal/silver forks and spoons.
*3. I drop plenty of EFF bombs...(but never in front of my kiddies)
*4. I love expensive purses, and buy one a year for myself. Poor or not.
*5. We have lived in our new house for over a year, and we still have no living room furniture. I am starting to think I am going to leave it empty.

Still

2010-09-20T18:53:00.000-07:00

Without a Plan B...
Still broken hearted. I drive through my neighborhood and think, Bleckkkkk....So familiar, easy to navigate. Boring.

I cried to my dad for a good hour about the whole thing..I think he and Missi understand it most. And of course Annie! My dad is a gypsy at heart and will go anywhere! Because of our shared history, Missi understands the desire the most. So I cry to her. I think my dad was actually looking forward to us going somewhere in Russia. He was thinking of getting a job somewhere near there like the Ukraine, and he could visit a lot...
This year, my job is going to be challenging to say the least. On a lot of levels. And I still have no money left by the second week after payday. (We get paid once a month)...
See, I told you there was lots of negativity around here..

I am trying to find some tutoring work to help make ends meet. And I am getting a mortgage on my house so I can pay my parents back..Hopefully, that will make my payment go down...

I am reaching out to anyone and everyone I know to help me find a lead on a job..Yes, a job outside of teaching. What I DO know is that I cannot teach at my school anymore. I need to get closer to home. It takes an hour to get to school and a little over that to get home..Thats about 12 hours a week that I lose with my girlz..I want that back. And the gas it takes to travel is killing me.
Transferring schools scares me. You know the saying, "The devil you know is better than the one you don't."
I love my teammates. I love them. I could cry just thinking about working with other teachers. My team has been with me through my marriage, infertility, divorce and adoptions.I have been with them through marriage, (Anna was a flower girl for one teammate) one baby girl for one, and just last week a baby boy for the other.
I taught with my principal, we have known each other for 17 years. I know those hallways and class rooms like the back of my hand..I know the families. I am teaching 4 little siblings of former students this year. But the extras are really weighing me down!
So if I just left teaching and took some kind of government job, maybe I wouldn't feel so guilty and sad..

BUT,
Anna started school, AugustRose started preschool, both have started ballet, and Anna started swim team.
And she is good. Really good. I love every teacher they have. And they are loved back.
I am back to teaching every other week at Church and going to sink into those families! I am praying a lot to help me cope with not getting the Thing I wanted.
I should share that I do have the TWO things that I needed and that complete my heart. My girlz daily life is enough to keep my soul at ease, but it's that part of my heart that wanted to go to Russia that is still a little banged up.
Through prayer, I am trying to hear what I should do long term. I have to be honest and say that we are so busy with swim team that I have to make time to pray. Given that, I am sure God is giving me the same in return. Ya know, He's so busy that He will make time to help me with my little problems!!
Until I can figure my life out, I am just going to drive back and forth to the pool for swim team and dream of the Russian Far East, and Novosibirsk, and hope that someone out there has a lead for me...

It's A No...

2010-09-10T18:32:00.000-07:00

Now I know.
I can’t go to St. Petersburg to teach. It was handled with care, but AAS simply cannot afford to pay for both of my girlz to attend gratis. All I can say is that I was being serious when I said, “There is no Plan B…”

I am going to lay low for a while on my blog..I don’t feel like sharing anything lately. It’s all boring, and negative around here…

My heart is broken that I can’t give my girlz the experiences I wanted to. That we can’t be together at school. That I can’t give them their heritage back. That I can’t strategically place them among other children who are going places..That we can’t go on this type of magical mystery trip together. That I can’t show them by doing..It’s so much more than just a job. There is something deep within that pulls me there. I guess you’d have to know my history, and how Russia changed my life in the most amazingly delightful ways to understand…

I honestly don’t know where to go from here. I am paralyzed/
I never felt like I had too much. But I guess I do.

Aren't We The Happy Family?

2010-09-06T13:43:00.000-07:00

The say you can learn a lot about people simply from their portraits..You know,

people naturally move and conform in a moment and the camera lense captures the "trueness" of the family...Well, for us, its a lie..We are happy there, yes. But this is not how I have felt this week. Overwelmed with the millions of school things I have to do, overwhelmed at the millions of things I need to do at my house...And on top of it, I have to get myself and the girlz to a dentist appointment, eye doctor for the girlz, yearly appointment for the girlz, which means I have to take a day off of work at least a couple of times this month..(this is when I wish I didn't go to Florida for so long)

I am not being a very good mother lately. I cannot get my girlz to clean up their messes. And what I want to do is throw out about 1/2 of what they own..BECAUSE they have too much. Too many different little sets of things. Too many times they have eaten in their room leaving crumbs..Too many times I let them convince me that they will do it in the morning. (And they don't)

Blehhhhkkkkkkkkk.

Sorry. No happy happy today.

Today I am just OVER, being a single mom. Right about now I wish I could say,

"You two better clean up, or WAIT TIL YOUR FATHER GET'S HOME"

THE email I have dreaded sending...

2010-08-29T11:36:00.000-07:00

Today at Church, Rusty's message seemed written just for me. It was about grattitude. I am gr8ful for a million things. Mostly for my little family. At the end of the message I was left with the urge to send an email that will either open or close a door for our future. One way or the other, I will have to accept what path God chooses for me. And one way or the other, I will have to move on. The dreams and hopes for my girlz and I are not clearly defined right now..By tomorrow or so, I will know.

I don't ask that you pray that God will give me what I want, but that I can accept what HE wants for our little family.

I have never dreaded sending an email like the one I sent today. I am a little sad and blue lately. Coming home from a paradise vacation is very hard. Tomorrow I go to school and start another year with my teammates. I have missed them..

It's A Charlie Brown Kind of Day...

2010-08-22T20:50:00.000-07:00

We are riding out our last week in Florida. It's been another lovely, wonderful, awesome, delicious time. My dad has gotten to really "rotten up" my girlz, and I will be spending the next couple of weeks debriefing them and trying to explain that MOMMA doesn't jump for them like their grandpa does..

Our friends from home just left after a week. My girlz are sad to be here without constant playmates, so it's good that they visited at the end of our time here..

I am sadly dreading going back to school. This will be my 20th year. And my dear Margaret has gone onto bigger and better opportunities so I will be working with a brand new assistant.. We got an email about our schedules and it seems that our day has been planned for us down to the hour..Hmmm. After 20 years, you would think I would be able to manage creating my own daily schedule... But oh well, some people need that type of control over things.

And it seems that my HOA is charging me 900.oo because I didn't let them know when I replaced a light bulb on my lamp in my yard..Another "AAUGH" to deal with. Remember when Charlie Brown would tip his head backwards and yell because Lucy would yank the ball away when he went to kick it..Well, that's what I am doing alot of lately...Head tipping and Screaming!

We are leaving our little bit of paradise on Wednesday, and making the hellish drive back to DC...5 States and a million hours...

insert "Aaugh" here.

Whadya Do...

2010-08-20T17:04:00.000-07:00

When you've got no Plan B?
I mean really. When there is nothing on the back burner?

I know God will open and close the appropriate doors. But I wish I knew a little in advance where I will be in a year.
I know where I wish I was, but is it really All About What I Want??

Something to think about...

For Now...

2010-08-11T05:42:00.000-07:00

I get asked by my family and friends "Why do you want to go to Russia?"
I am working on a more comprehensive post about this..Maybe by the summer's end I will post it. It is so much more than as the clip states..But it's a start!

The Goodbye Girl

2010-08-08T06:55:00.000-07:00

What it is about a child that is devastated when she says goodbye? What does that mean?
Too Sensitive?

I don't know what it is about Anna that when she says goodbye to a family member or close family friend, her little heart breaks. She has always been so empathetic, but it is sad to see her little tears fall when we bid a fond fair well to those who we have visited this summer.

Any ideas on how to heal her broken heart? My sister is leaving today and we will see her when we come home in a few weeks...

My Montage 8/5/10 at OneTrueMedia.com

2010-08-05T16:52:00.001-07:00

At the end of a wonderful birthday, I had to post this and share what it's like on a GreenGirlz day!!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

My Birthday in Naples. A Happy 42nd to ME!!

2010-08-05T05:52:00.000-07:00

It's sandy bubble blowing.

Gopher turltes near the sidewalk.

It's feathers, that make us thing of Aunt Lee,

Little girlz walking and singing together.

silvery toes, feeling the water beneath them...

It's Lefthanded sandy autographs.

Just Some Bits...

2010-07-26T20:43:00.000-07:00

This is all I am going to post of Disney for now..There is so much to tell about our time with the Mouse, but I want to share what is happening here at the beach, so that is where we will start!
First and foremost, the oil spill has in no way affected the shore/coastline in Naples. That is not to say it won't, but for now we are safe.

It seems like as soon as we got here, Anna's ear started to ache..This is not new and every year we end up in an Urgent Care where ever we are for antibiotics. This time, the doctor in Florida gave up drops for her ear, and with the advice to stay out of the water until the ache goes away..Two days later, we found this cap and with the help of some ear plugs, her ear healed. She looked like a little Olympic swimmer with it on.

For the first part of the trip, the girlz did a great job of managing our gypsy vacation, (always moving) but there were tons of break downs from each of them..It has been great to be in one spot for days now. Anni even mentioned that she was glad that we didn't have to wear clothes out of the suitcase.

So far we have seen dolphins and only one sting ray, and it was a flying ray that came flying out of the water. For the past couple of times, the dolphins are so close to the shore that you could touch them, if they would have allowed. It was fun! The girlz have been doing a lot of playing together while at the beach. But Lordy, let them get back to the house and AugustRose has a real fit when she doesn't get her way. I have almost eliminated the high pitch scream she does, now I am working on the jealousy. She is so concerned, that when I address Anni about anything/or nothing in particular AugustRose will say, "what about me?" If I had a dollar for how many times a day she says that...But with all the activity we do in a day, I am glad to see that the girlz have fun together..Anni will meet friends on the beach, but August, boy she doesn't want to know anyone new..She can't stand for me to address other children, especially toddlers. And she will say out loud,
"that baby is not cute!" I mean really, what is that?? I am going to reassure her the whole summer that she is the only one I want to call "baby" and not to worry about other children...Jeez!!

Ohhhh, and I found these while at my friend Lee's. They are measuring cups! You open them up and can use either the top or the bottom. For the kitchen challenged, like me, if I never use them I won't feel bad because they are deliciously cute, huh?

PLEASE PARDON MY DUST

2010-07-26T13:56:00.001-07:00

As I try my best to figure how my blog randomly faded to black, then has the most difficult PHOTOBUCKET error in the middle of the post section....I have no idea where this came from nor why it is there...And what's up with COMPATIBILITY mode...HUH? why is Blogger running that way on my poooter......I have so much to share...And now, this holy hot mess...

2010-07-18T18:22:00.000-07:00

We visited with my grandmother through the 4th of July. Each day, we would pick up my Aunt Carolyn first then head out to the center where my Grandma is. One the way back one day, we found this great little spot on the river and pulled in. It was the 4th and there was live music, and raw oysters that my mom and aunt love. Eww. They grew up on them.

Auntie Carolyn, Poppy, Anni, and AugustRose, celebrating on the river!

I left my mom at my grans and drove an hour to visit with my bestie from junior high. Lee, yes one of the Lee's (along with my sister) who is AugustRose's namesake. We have been through thick and thin the two of us. This has been a hard couple of years for her. She lost her dad, and then a year and half later, she lost her mom. It was devastating for her. The worst part was that I was told by my agency that I would be getting a court date any day and I couldn't be there with her for her mom's funeral. I won't forgive myself for that. I should have just taken a chance. Turns out I did get a court date while I was to be at the funeral, but still. I should have been there.

Lee and I had a blast at one of Florida's old attractions called Silver Springs.

Lot's of movies have been filmed there, including all the Tarzan movies. And it has stood the test of time. Our visit was great. Her children are really growing up and I know that her oldest daughter is going to set the world on fire! She is a cheerleader/dancer and just as beautiful as any of these young starlets on tv.

(Lee and her beautiful daughter Allie)
When we left to get my mom and head for Disney, Anna cried for

one hour. Her heart is so tender. She knows Lee is like family, and reacts to leaving her just like one would when leaving a favorite Auntie! No worries though, Lee and fam will be visiting my dad's beach house in just a few more days!

We Started Out Visiting Family

2010-07-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

We hit the road two weeks ago. The Girlz had their Tag Readers, movies, computers, water bottles, blankets, and every other imaginable trinket in the back seat with them. And we drove. And drove. My dad was at our house before we left and drove up to Maryland, so when we got on the highway, we set up a meeting spot and he followed along with us. My mom let me do all the driving since I tend to get car sick. It wasn't as bad as it sounds. We stopped at South of the Border and spent the night and then my dad drove onto Florida since he didn't want to "linger" the way my girlz and I tend to do...

Driving into Florida got me very sentimental. It hasn't been my home for 18 years but my family is still there..As in uncles, aunts, and my grandmother. Many people think of Florida as two things, Disney World and the beach...But it is so much more. I was born in Northern Florida in a town called Gainesville. Just south of there is BIG TIME horse country. So when I think of my childhood home, I tend to remember it as horse country.

I have never seen such green grass. And the shiny coats on the horses made me wonder if there isn't something to that mane and tail horse shampoo you see every now and then. There is an easy comfort to this part of Florida. Nothing too fancy, yet full of million dollar estates that have trained many a Preakness or Belmont winner.

And then there are these. Old school stores. I don't know if every state has these, but in Florida, they have many.

Something very "white trash" about them, but also something very historical. Signs that haven't been repainted, soda coolers with the bottle openers on the outside. On a good day, you can go in and purchase boiled peanuts, spicy or plain. We are plain girlz in this house.

My uncle had a tobacco farm not too far from here. He also grew watermelon and cantaloupe. For years and years, high schoolers would come out and work for him cutting tobacco. After you did your time in the field a few years, you could come into the barns and sew the leaves together. My sister worked it for several summers. Me? I opted out. I preferred being broke even as a youngster.

We arrived at my Grandmothers house after a few days on the road. Because of a couple of health problems she was placed in a rehab, and now she is in assisted living, but at 90, she still plans to come home. If she could find someone or a program that would work with her at her house, she could do it..She and her sister on working on it..She hates the place she is in right now. She told us there were too many old people there..

Being in her home without her there was sad. So many memories. The pictures on the walls, the hundred year old microwave, little nick nax I remember from my childhood almost haunted the place. Things I had forgotten about, like the fact that my grandmother wore a fancy nightgown, and a matching robe over it. And all of her nightgowns were hung up after being washed. Rows of hangers filled with nightgowns. And the Daniel Green slippers in every color. I had also forgotten that my dear grandmother loved jewelry. Some costume, some not. But not the costume jewelry we have now. She has an entire wall cabinet full of the really great, detailed jewelry from 50 years ago..My girlz had fun with that under my mom's watchful eye..

Part of seeing her in her "old folk's home" was fine. Part of it was sad. And the other part was just miserable. Seeing so many people just laying/lying around waiting for their end to come. And most of those people are alone. Sort of heartbreaking in a lot of ways.

While in Northern Florida we drove some of the same roads, saw some of the same places that I have seen since I was a child. And mixing it in with seeing my grandmother and my aunt who is also in rehab for a stroke, made the beginning of our trip mildly depressing. But as grown ups we have to do these things. It was important to show my girlz how we treat our family. And adding a few days into our vacation in order to see family was not such a big deal...We knew while making those visits that we had Disney to look forward to. So we visited.

And then I left my mom there to continue visiting and I drove down to see my dearest high school friend. We have been besties since we were in junior high school when we started cheering together..But that will be another post. Needless to say, we had lots of laughs!

2010-06-26T19:08:00.000-07:00

Aunti and the Girlz

Today was recital day. I was fearful of how AugustRose would react the the big crowd but she did great. I didn't have my good camera, so we relied on Auntie's camera phone..It worked well enough!

Dadumagoosa with Anni

Poppie with Anni

Me with Anni

My dad and I with AuggieRose after her very first recital! We were chatting about it today, Anni started ballet at 2 and has been in 5 recitals so far. It really shows. She shines on the stage. We giggle so much watching her, because she looks like she is about to burst with happiness when she is up on the stage.

It was a good day. Now I am doing laundry, trying to clean up, and packing for our trip to Florida. Just can't wait to get on the road! It will be a long drive, but we can make a bunch of stops to break up the ride~

Can't wait to post from FLAWDA!!!!!

Almost Free

2010-06-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

Our KinderBration was amazing. We filled the gym to capacity and felt like super stars on a red carpet when it was over. We set up 4 different "step and repeats" so that the parents could get photos of their child's class and some with the teachers. As they snapped away, I looked out to a sea of cameras. It was by far the most rewarding afternoon in a life time of teaching. This was the perfect year to do this. The perfect year to honor a group of kids...Our hodge-podge of nationalities all jumbled into one place coming together for one thing..To honor and praise their babies. Funny, no matter what the country, the language, the culture, we were able to impress upon these families that their children did something big. They finished kindergarten..
There wasn't a dry eye in the place when the kids sang their final song. I was a blabbering crybaby when we walked in, so by the end of the song I was toast.
It was especially bittersweet for me and my coworker, since our assistants are leaving next year.
My assistant is not just a helper, but a friend. We laugh and giggle all day, and roll our eye at just the same things..

Next year is a big year. My twentieth year teaching. My hope is that magically, and without too much fuss I can land a teaching job in St.Pete Russia. Long shot sure, but I gotta dream. I have thought about almost everything and pressed poor Kate to answer a million questions on daily life down to the minutia of family life in Russia. After teaching the children I teach now, I can't imagine being more ready to teach in an international school..

Although the Kinderbration was amazing, there has been a bit of tension at my school. I think it's all the end of the year stuff...I am quick to laugh things off, but many of my coworkers are just "over it." And that makes me sad. Not to be corny, but I am just waiting to exhale...I know, I know..
The girlz are ready for some "summer momma" time.
I am a different mom in the summer. I am the mom I wish I could be more often. I guess having a job sometimes holds a gal back. When we get to Florida we go to the library 3 times a week to the summer programs that my dad's sweet library offers. We wake up early and I cook at least one nice meal a day. I read to my girlz all summer. I take tons of pictures. I am relaxed.
I don't know what we'll do when my dad's house sells. I have fallen in love with the quiet pace of Naples. All the snow birds are back up north, so it's like we own the place.
I have been praying for the Gulf beaches. They aren't a snow beach, and depend on what goes on in the summer.
So now I count the days til I am free like a bird!!

FOUND IT!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-19T19:02:00.000-07:00

I am just dying...I found it..My old website. I only wanted to try since the words I wrote were most fresh...I love a good ole fashioned search tool for things waayyyy long ago!!!
Take a read of my first attempt at a blog/website!!!

http://web.archive.org/web/20060405104621/mysite.verizon.net/jjgnva/id9.html

Need Some Ideas...

2010-06-15T15:24:00.000-07:00

I love to read. But only in July and August. I become obsessed and read at the beach and pool, and then until all hours of the night. I have to actually make myself slow down so I don't finish the story too fast!
If you look at my side bar, you will see I love Russian themed thriller, actiony, fiction...I read all of the Martin Cruz Smith (Arkady Renko Novels) and even found some from way back that were awesome.
If you have any suggestions I'd love it..

EOY

2010-06-12T07:40:00.000-07:00

By far, the most stressful, crazy, busy time for teachers is the end of the year. No matter what we all agree to in September, it always seems that there are a gagillion forms and papers that teachers need to complete. Most of them are repeats of something that is on another form, but when resource teachers want something, you gotta get it to them...Or honestly, it can be hell.

It's funny this year, because my heart is still at my school, yet all I think about is how to take a break from it, and get to Russia. Because I am launching my full force effort in September to get to Russia. and if not Russia, then Poland, the Ukraine, or Belarus. In that order.
Odd assortment of dream locations, but it is what it is...
I am getting my resume in order and will join to the companies that place teachers, and then I am also going to contact some other schools in Russia to see what kind of packages they offer.
Next year is my 20th anniversary in teaching, and I really want a break from FCPS. My county hasn't given raises in 3 years, and it just seems like the right time.
I am a wandering spirit, and I can see my girlz being 3rd culture kids.

2010-06-07T17:06:00.000-07:00

i am off the Chantix...i couldn't sense if it may work, and the horrible sadness and sickness were not worth it..I am going to try the patch again..the side effects on the box of Chantix, all about depression and such was right on for me..so i stopped taking it friday night, and haven't thrown up, or wanted to admit myself in the Psych Ward since then...
and sadly, I'm not joking...careful with that drug. I can keep trying without it.

I have 3 weeks of school left. Yeahhh. We are in full KINDERBRATION MODE!! All fun good times. My kids already know their lines. I am lovin' them. I have a child in my room that stutters and stammers. She asked for a part, and got one. (Super Bright) Side note: She is a little gal who is Muslim. She wears a hijab, but can't seem to keep it on straight or really at all. By the end of the day she goes skipping out to recess swinging it around her head like a helicopter. I swear one day I am going to write a book called the RaggaMuffin Muslim Girl..All about differences in children, and how to truly embrace those differences..
ANYHOO, this little gal says today..."Ms.Green, when I say stuff, I say it double.."(which is her way of saying that she stutters) I told her it was just fine, and her words are so special that we can all them twice.) She smiled.

no promises....

2010-06-01T16:59:00.000-07:00

I started taking Chantix this week...Nothing yet. But somehow, I am supposed to be ready to quit by Friday.
I could literally burst into tears if I give it too much thought. So I don't. I am just taking them and praying a lot. Please pray for me.

I have done a lot of praying, but by far this is my biggest shame and I would love to get rid of it...

How To Be Happy for the Last Month of School...

2010-05-30T05:04:00.000-07:00

For the first time since I have been at my school, we decided to have a graduation for our kindergartners. But not really. Some call it graduation, some call it celebration, we are calling it a

Kinderbration!

I have this renewed sense of excitement to GO TO WORK. I love doing children's plays, shows, presentations and celebrations. I think it is just as fun for the teachers as it is for the children. This group of kiddies has been my favorite in 19 years. The parents are lovely, and if they cannot communicate in English, then they are great at playing charades with me. We will present songs, one big poem, (12 children will have individual parts) and the present the children with their

Masters of Rhyme Certificates. I bought these. Yikes 60 bucks, and then I got the caps for all the kids. And there are 80 children so you can imagine the cost...I hope I get reimbursed, but if I don't then they are cute and we all loved them and will split it among the teachers. See, this is why we need raises. We end up spending lots and lots of money on our classes.

We have 18 days of school left, and I am actually thrilled to get back each day!

2010-05-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

A lovely day, even though both girlz were sort of sickish...
I can't wait to see the rest!

http://erinjphoto.com/blog/2010/05/sweet-sisters-northern-virginia-childrens-photographer/

Edit:
This is just the sneak peek!!
the rest of the pics are up! If you have the desire, you can see them here:

http://www.erinjphoto.com/slideshows/Greene_JulieAnne/

Almost Normal

2010-05-19T19:10:00.001-07:00

So, it's Wednesday and I am but normal again. Sort of .
I still get a sharp pain on the one incision site if I bend over, so I just squat now. Pretty.
And I do get more tired than normal. But since I will be working next week, I will just deal with it. I have to say, I have thoroughly enjoyed this time at home with my family. Mom was here pretty much everyday the first two weeks, and then my dad was here last week. AugustRose cried herself to sleep last night because he left this morning. She kept saying, please let "Dadu" stay longa. Dadu, is short for Dadumagoosa. Which is supposed to be дедушка (de-dush-ka). It was quite pitiful. He will be back in mid June for the girlz ballet recitals. And then we go to his beach house for the summer. Of course that's after we spend a magical week at Disney.

AugustRose is still talking about her party. It was so fun. We got lots of feedback and now I will have to top it for next year. Anna will celebrate at the Magic Kingdom. She has an appointment at Bibbity Boppity Boo for a princess make-over then we have a reservation at the Crystal Palace for an early supper. It should be super fun, but a whole lot different.

Last week I started a book that Bernadette gave to me. A daily prayer book. Since I want to follow God's plan for me, I am reading the prayer for each new day, then going back to read the day where it focused on "decision making." Yes, I am still thinking about trying to get our little family to Russia for the 2011-12 school year. I don't have a job yet, don't even know if I should really push for it yet. Really, don't even know if they want me... Tina, I know what you will say. "Don't do it." But I would be taking my mom with me. She has even agreed to substitute. (she was a teacher then principal for 33 years) And my dad is trying to get a job in the Ukraine. So really, it's just a matter how we will get my sister to eastern Europe....I love my home, but I am an adventure girl. I love to get lost in the city where I live. I haven't been lost in a long time. I want to study the Russian language and come home after a few years and teach it...I want my girlz to be in a school with children who have traveled, been places, done wayy cooler things than we have ever done. I hate it that she is the only person who has been to Disney. I hate it that the children in her class don't go on vacation. It makes her seem privileged. And she isn't. We are just blessed by circumstance...
Tina, ask your daughter about that school opportunity she knew of...Wonder if its still out there?

My friend from the blogger world is on her way to Anna's region in Khabarovsk. She is "closing the deal" on her little son. Pray for her. She has a long way to go. And will be there for quite a while. Love ya Stacey!!!

AugustRose's Fairy Birthday

2010-05-15T15:44:00.000-07:00

The Fairy Girlz

AugustRose and her bubbles.

Love the shades Miss Missi!

No self respecting Fairy would wear shoes!!

Mommy's face painting job!
Time to go fishing for fairy stones..
More Fairy Girlz!
Sure we have the Bitty Baby, but the Baby Alive was the only gift AugustRose asked for
Anna was such a great big sister today. She was gracious and very excited for her baby sister to celebrate her special day.

AugustRose was such a lovely hostess. She said big ole "Thank-You!'s" as she opened gifts. She even gave some hugs here and there. I was very proud of her manners.

Today was magical. Marielle and my sister Lauralee were amazing. They helped with food preparation, photo taking, and general hostess stuff. I think they got a kick out of everything. I even got a couple of snaps of them in fairy wings! Baby Lily was here, but I don't want to post her pics until I ask her momma. But I tell you, that child is gorgeous and fit right in at two..You can get a glimpse of her in the pool.

Marielle in her wings!

Auntie in hers!

Thanks so much Ladies! (and I use the term LOOSELY!!!)

My mom and dad, and my sistah from anotha mutha, Missi helped to add to the family feel of the day. The school mates and neighbors rounded out the group and blessed AugustRose with the most amazing treats. We will be writing thank you notes for weeks! I mean seriously, today was bigger than Christmas. And I know some don't agree that the sibling should get a gift, BUT I DO, so I bought Anna an outfit for her Build-A-Bear, (fairy of course) and my mom got her a Justin Beiber CD. My dad has worked on the back yard for the whole week and it looks fab! He leveled the ground then put tons of dirt back there, and now it's covered with shiny new sod. He built in a little area all the way around the edges and planted little flowers so it looks amazing. Good thing, since at the end, all the little fairies went to the basement and out to our little yard. Dad's hard work paid off! The girlies enjoyed it.

I don't know when it happened, but I am happiest when I am with my family, meaning all of my family. My girlz adore Auntie and Marielle and having them at our little events always makes it more fun. It's great too that my mom and dad are at everything the girlz do. That's the good thing about getting out of my twenties and thirties. It seems like the pressure of "being somewhere better" is gone. I no longer want to go out with the girls, or hit the bars. The best place is any place that family is gathering! I know my dad has ZERO desire to go to Disney World, but part of me wishes he would just go and meet us there for a few hours..(Expensive huh?)

So our fairy day is winding down, and I have to say I think it was a big hit with all the families who attended. I am so blessed. I am going to say some wonderful prayers of Thanksgiving tonight!

Happy Birthday AugustRose!! Your momma loves you more than words can say. Your spirit and individuality is awe inspiring. You have been a fire cracker since the moment we met, and you have filled my world with laughter, and my heart with joy. You were a special gift to our little family. You are growing into a beautiful little lady and my world is complete with you in it!

Let the Fairy Magic Begin

2010-05-14T17:01:00.000-07:00

The beauty of not having any furniture in the living room is that I can make a cool party room for the little Fairies that will be here tomorrow to celebrate AugustRose's 4th Birthday.

The Tutus for our guests to wear. And of course Fairy Wings!

An extra door makes for a perfect toddler table for the girls!

Loved finding cheap flowers to turn our living room into a little fairy wonderland.
I wish you could tell how the little twinkly lights shine on the railings! Too cute.

We will have a big tomorrow, and I am so proud to have AugustRose be the center of attention.

Tomorrow we will blow up balloons, and put out the food and drink! It will be a good time!